You don’t have to do it all alone | DFS 292

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Welcome to destined for success. I'm your

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host Jennifer Takagi. And today I want to talk about, you don't

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have to do it all alone. When I was a child, we were raised to

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be very independent. I'm the youngest of four. So I heard

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recently, by the time you get to those ladder, kids, you're just

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kind of over it, they'll just kind of raise themselves. I

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didn't really have that experience too much, maybe a

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little bit. But my mom saw a commercial the Mormons Jesus,

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Christ of Latter Day Saints, used to do these long like

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infomercials. And it was, how to have a better life, how to have

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a better family, how to interact more effectively. And they were

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long. Now as a kid, it probably seemed like it was 10 or 15

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minutes, and it was probably three. But they had these nice

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infomercials, I don't think they were called that back then. But

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infomercials. And this infomercial, that my mom saw my

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brother was the oldest, and he was little. And this infomercial

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was about give your children the greatest gift of all. And that

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is the gift of independence. Give your child the opportunity

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to make decisions that are age appropriate. Age appropriate so

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that the consequences are age appropriate. Now this like

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covers all kinds of gamuts of life, right? This could be in

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the workplace, this could be at home, this could be with little

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kids, older kids, whatever. As a parent, you don't want to make

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every single decision for your child until it reaches the point

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that they're 16 1718 years old. And the consequences have dire

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ramifications. They could go to prison, they could kill

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somebody, they could kill themselves in a car wreck. I

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mean, like any number of horrible things can happen. So

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give your kids the opportunity to make decisions where they

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have to live with the consequences, but they're not

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dire consequences. So the big deal for me that I remember so

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much as a kid, I had a little girlfriend spend the night on

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Friday night, and we stayed up too late. And we woke up too

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early the next day. And late that afternoon, I said oh, can I

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go spend the night with such and such. And my mom said, If you

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do, you'll have stayed up late two nights in a row, she knew me

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so well, you will have stayed up two nights in a row too late.

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And you're gonna come home cranky? And when you do, I'm

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gonna whip your butt and send you up to bed for a nap. And I

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was like, No, I won't, I'll be really good. I'll be so good

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mom, I'll be so good. And what happened, I came home and I was

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cranky. And she worked my butt and sent me to bed. And that's

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what happened. I had a consequence that fit the age

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bracket. I could be independent enough to make the decision. But

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I also had to take the consequence. So you can be

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independent and take the consequence. But you don't have

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to do it all alone. My mom was really good at talking through

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what the ramifications would be like how this would all work

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out. When you're building a business, when you're building a

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life. You don't have to do it all alone. You don't have to do

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it alone. Do you need a counselor? Do you need a

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minister? Do you need a group of really amazing girlfriends like

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I have that are gonna go play with you and you forget about

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the day and you have a good time. And more importantly, you

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support each other. You support each other. You don't have to do

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it alone. There is a notion that if you ask for help, you must be

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a failure. I've heard these stories of Oh, I did it all

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myself, pull myself up by my bootstraps. I don't believe that

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for a minute. We all have somebody somewhere that guides

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us, that inspires us that we look up to you. It may be

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somebody we've never actually met. It might be somebody you

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know, a celebrity that we've looked up to but there's been

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somebody else who's helped pave the way for us in some way. So

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let go of the notion that if you ask for help, it's failure. And

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how can you ask for help like in what ways can You ask for help.

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If you're building your own business and you're doing it all

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by yourself. Find something or someone who can help you. Is it

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an app, I use the app, it's called Tassie ta SSI. And it's

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get tassie.com Oh, by the way, I have an affiliate link if you

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want to reach out to me, but it helps me schedule my social

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media posts. Not only does that help me schedule them, it also

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helps me create them because they have a bazillion graphics

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in there. It also sets up the cadence of it. That is a form of

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getting help. I don't have to sit down and learn how to create

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all my own graphics, all my own memes. Do I create some?

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Absolutely. But do I have to create them all? No. Hardcore?

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No, I don't have to. I don't have to. I can do some. Is it a

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person? Do you need a virtual assistant? Do you need a local

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assistant? Do you need somebody to clean your house? Where do

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you need help? Asking for help is not being a failure. I had a

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conversation with somebody about, about people bringing

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meals when somebody is sick or has surgery or has the baby. And

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we were specifically talking about having a baby. I don't

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have children that I wouldn't want and people to bring me

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food. I'm just gonna throw that out there. And she said, Oh, no,

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I planned ahead. I cooked meals, I put them in the freezer. We

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were ready to go. It was fine that I had a new baby because we

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had food to eat and my husband was capable of doing things too.

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And that's great. But if you're surrounded by people who want to

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help and be a part of your journey, I'm just telling you,

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it's okay to say yes. I recently had my knee replaced. It was a

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big deal. I'm telling you I have recovered so well. But I also

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did everything they told me to do. I've recovered really well.

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But I've had a lot of help. My husband was here for several

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days, he would have stayed longer. But I called a

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girlfriend who liked to sit around and watch movies with me,

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which is what I was supposed to do for the first two weeks

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physical therapy. Keep it elevated and iced. That's what I

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was supposed to do. I was not allowed to leave the house. I

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was not allowed to go to restaurants. I was supposed to

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stay home and take care of the seat. And that's what I did. And

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it's healed beautifully because I did what they told me to do. I

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didn't need to be a hero, I needed to follow the rules. But

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that first thing I did when I made the decision to have my

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knee replaced, which it's been a long time coming. I called a

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girlfriend of mine who has stayed with me before. And will

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you come take care of me have my knee replaced? And she did. And

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then I had friends call and say can I bring food? Can I come

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over one Friday night for my girlfriend's showed up with food

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and alcohol. And we had a little party I did not drink because I

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was taking pain pills. And that's against the rules. And I

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didn't want to trip and fall with my mom with my new knee. I

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did get a tick tock. There are videos about what all happened

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in the first week after having my knee replaced. And I'm fine

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and nothing hurt me. But it was kind of comical all the way

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around. But I wanted to help I needed the help. I was grateful

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for the help. One friend said, Let's go to lunch, I'll take you

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and I said well, I can go on this day if you can drop me off

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at physical therapy afterwards, because I still wasn't driving

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yet. And she goes, Do you want me to stay at therapy and bring

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you home too? I could have said no. But I said yes. We went to

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lunch, we went to physical therapy. And she came back in

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the room with me. We had a little party. And then she

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brought me home and I ice my knee because that's what it

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needed. So you have to let go of that notion that asking for help

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means you're a failure or less than, or you can't do it all on

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your own. We're not meant to do everything on our own. We thrive

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with good people around us. Oh wait, did you catch that good

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people, we thrive with good people around us people who will

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support us. And that's what we need. You need to be able to

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reach out. Now you know that one person that if you reached out,

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they would ridicule you and it would be ugly and it wouldn't be

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good and they wouldn't help you anyway, blah, blah, blah. I'm

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not talking about that person.

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I'm talking about the amazing people you know who will support

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you who will help you. Sometimes it's people online that you only

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know through the internet. That's fine doesn't matter. I

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built some really tight relationships with people online

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and then when we had a conference and we met in person

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I was thrilled to the end of the A world that we actually met in

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person. So reach out. Do you need a medical doctor do that?

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Do you need an energy healer like me? Reach out to me? Do you

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need to get involved in a group of people who are like minded?

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Look for meetups, go on Eventbrite. See if there's

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something going on in your community. It's okay to ask for

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help. You don't have to do it all alone. If you're ready to

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start crafting out the life of your dreams, go to 12 minute

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gift.com get my free gift. It's a free thing. Get that and start

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mapping out the life of your dreams. I'm Jennifer Takagi and

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I look forward to connecting with you soon