It all starts with YOU! | DFS 353

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Welcome to Destin for success. I'm your

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host, Jennifer Takagi, and today I want to, like wrap up a little

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bit out of the last two episodes. We had a great episode

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interview with Lisa Reed about becoming a public speaker,

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followed up by Virginia muskies on collaboration and building

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your business through collaboration. Everything begins

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with you, like you are the reason you have a business.

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You're the reason that you're listening today. It all starts

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with you, and the question is, What all do you want to bring to

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the table? What do you want to share with people to impact

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their lives and empower them to go out and do good in the world,

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whether you're an entrepreneur, a business owner, an employee, a

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piece of somebody else's dream. You have stories that you bring

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to the table. And Lisa was talking about having a story

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library. What all stories and experiences have you had that

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could help someone else? Our brain is really magnificent

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because it tries to make connections of everything we've

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done in the past and apply it to today. Sometimes it's faulty and

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sometimes it's spot on. It can go either way. It truly can go

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either way. But what stories do you have that can help people

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move forward. The fun thing with starting to jot down your

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stories is that you can take those stories and build it into

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a blog. Take a story and build it into part of a book. You can

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use it to get your message out so people understand what you

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stand for. And by telling stories, you can really connect

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with your audience, and they can get to know you in a deeper way.

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The story doesn't have to be yours. The story can be somebody

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else's. Somebody else's story impacted me. I'm going to share

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it, and spoiler alert, I will give them credit like, whose

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story is this? It's not mine. I'm going to share somebody

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else's story and be clear that it's somebody else's. If you

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want to build your business, if you want to really show up in a

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more powerful way, you can do that by connecting with others.

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And Virginia talked a lot about helping people build their

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businesses by connecting with others. Not everybody is for

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her, and she's not for everybody, and she fully

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understands and embraces that. So if somebody's not for you, or

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you're not for them, you might know somebody who is I hate,

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hate, hate. That old phrase of you were given two ears and one

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mouth for a reason, and that was to listen twice as much as you

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talk. And I just want to say, for me, that's very difficult. I

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love to talk. And what do I hear people say that she just loves

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to hear her own voice. It's not my own voice. It's just, I think

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my stories are great, and then everybody should hear them. Oh,

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wait, I have a podcast right here. I am doing it again, but I

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want to connect with people on a deeper level, and I want to

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share my stories and my experiences to help someone skip

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some of the mistakes I've made for whatever reason, we have to

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go through mistakes on our own, like we have to learn the hard

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way, or at least, we have the story in our head that we have

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to learn the hard way. But guess what? It doesn't have to be

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hard. You don't have to learn every lesson on your own, you

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can learn from others who have gone before you and have forged

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that path. Go with that follow that path. See what worked for

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them. It may work for you and you might have to make tweaks,

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but it's okay. Your success starts with you, and one of the

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key things of it, starting with you, is that you have to

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remember that you are in control. You're in control of

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your emotions, you're in control of your feelings, you're in

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control of your mood. You are in control how you interact with

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people, and guess what you can say, oh, but he made me mad.

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Well, yes, his behavior was horrible, and you reacted, but

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you had that nanosecond between the action that the other person

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took and your response to. It, and that little nanosecond in

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there is what lifts you up to the top. To be better. We've a

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few girlfriends and I have started this idea of is that

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level three behavior. And in energetic magic, there are three

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levels to Shiraz program energetic magic, and I'm

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certified or not certified, but I've completed levels one and

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two, and I can practice energetic magic at level one and

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level two. But to get to level three and actually be certified

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and be able to teach it, you have to pass into level three,

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and you have to be invited to join level three. And I asked

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some more questions about, oh, what's it take to be level

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three? And he said, Oh, you have to let go of judgment. And I was

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like, Oh, okay. And somehow my brain I decided that meant let

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go of judgment, of anything, everything, because our minds

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immediately go to judgment. Is for me, it's not, it's for me,

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it's not, it's for me, it's not. When you're scrolling through

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your phone, your brain is instantaneously saying, that's

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for me, I'm going to read it. That's not for me. I'm scrolling

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past like it happens in a nanosecond again, quick

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judgment, quick decision. So I was talking to Shiraz a couple

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months later, and I said, you know, I just, I think you're

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right. I'm not ready for level three. Like, I'm just not. I

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have not evolved that great to be level three. And he said, I

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don't, I don't know what you're talking about it. I said, Well,

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to be level three, you have to be out of judgment of people.

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And I'm not like I can create stories and judgment very, very

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easily. And he said, Jennifer, it's you're out of judgment when

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you're working with them, when they're sharing their story,

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when they're sharing their hurt, what they're going through. You

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have to let that judgment go and just hold space for them. And I

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was like, Oh, I thought I had to, like, let go of judgment

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everywhere. Now, in reality, yeah, Judge not, lest ye be

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judged. It's in the Bible. We've all heard that verse, whether

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you're a believer or not, it doesn't matter. It's a good

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practice, right? So I'm much more aware when I go into

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judgment, I'm much more aware. If you're aware, then you have a

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better opportunity to control it, to stop it, to mitigate it.

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Their choice is yours, but you're in control of your

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emotions. And I love Brendon Burchard. He I follow him. I'm

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in his mastermind. I'm a certified High Performance Coach

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through another program of his. And he's really he took, he did

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sit the best talk on an event happens, you immediately have an

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emotion about it like that. I mean, emotion is just like, look

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at these split you just have it. It hits. You're happy, you're

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sad, you're mad, you're disheartened, whatever it is,

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it's quick, it's there. And if you stay with it a little

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longer, then you can start to have feelings around it. And you

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have feelings around it, because you've now made a story around

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it, and now that you've had those feelings and that story,

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and you tell the story over and over and over to every single

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girlfriend or buddy that you run into or hang out with, and the

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more you tell the story, the more emotions you generate. The

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more feelings you generate, the more stories you can heap on.

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And before you know it, you're in a bad mood. You created your

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bad mood. I created my bad mood. We can stop that in a

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nanosecond. The event happened. I had an emotion. I can take a

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deep breath in and I can let that go. That's a lot of the

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Emotion Code and the work that I do through helping people heal

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from past trauma. Sometimes that trauma is not like the big T,

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like death, divorce, physical harm, in all the versions that

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that takes. Sometimes it's something little, sometimes it

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was just a momentary thing that happened. But we sit with that

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emotion for a while. We sit with that feeling for a while. We sit

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with the feeling until we can create all kinds of stories

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about it, and then we have a mood.

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And those moods can lead to depression, anxiety. I heard

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someone say recently. Well, I you know, she just doesn't like

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me, and I'm not going to be around her at all. And I was

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like, Really, what happened? How do you know she doesn't like

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you? Well, I just know there had to have been an event that

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triggered an emotion, that triggered a feeling, that

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created a mood that created a whole scenario around another

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person. And the interesting thing is, it may or may not be

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true. It may or may not be true. So everything starts with you.

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Your stories matter. What stories do you want to share

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with the world to help other people, help them do better, be

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better, see the world in a more positive light. Sometimes you

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have to quit scrolling on your phone because you know, like

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you're you're getting a lot you're getting a lot of input

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for a lot of places. Is it all true? I don't know. Maybe it is.

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Maybe it isn't connect with people, but connect with people,

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collaborate with people, but always walk in with the

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intention of giving first. Giving first. I want to give to

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you. I want to help you. I want to be here for you. How can I do

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that? What can I do that's going to help you? Do better, be

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better. What do I have to bring to the party? You don't want to

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be that person that shows up the party empty handed, and take

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control of your emotions. I love the way Jack Canfield puts it in

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his book, The success principles, and in the training

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for success principles, and it's E plus r equals O, you have an

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emotion, you have a response. And that leads to the outcome.

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There are many situations that I am pretty confident I made worse

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because I didn't just pause for a moment. I just went for it. I

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just immediately reacted and responded. Had I taken a moment.

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It could have turned out differently. So remember, it all

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starts with you. How do you want to show up in the world? I had a

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student participant in a class for the great state of Oklahoma

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that I was teaching, and she came up to me at break and said,

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Oh, I'm a terrible leader. I'm a terrible supervisor. I'm not

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doing any of the things that we're learning in this class.

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And I said, you're not a terrible human. You're not a

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terrible person. But here's the deal, you have the opportunity

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when you walk into the office tomorrow to do better and to be

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better. Your past does not have to cloud your future. You can

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start putting on your big girl panties, your Big Boy Shorts

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tomorrow, and you can step into the world as a better person, if

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you would like some help with that. Book, your success. Call,

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it's your success. Call.com, let's talk about it. Let's talk

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about what you can do to be better and do better. I'm

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Jennifer Takagi, and I look forward to connecting with you

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soon. You.