Enjoli Commercial from the ‘70’s and 80’s | DFS 290

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Welcome to destined for success. I'm your

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host Jennifer Takagi. And today I want to talk about having it

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all doing it all. So in the late 70s, early 80s, there was a

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perfume called Audra Lee. And the whole premise of it was, a

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woman could bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan. And

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never ever, ever let you forget, you're a man. Honestly, it was

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actually a pretty nice perfume, I remember getting it as a

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birthday gift, so I liked it. But let's break this down just a

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little bit. So it's my contention The World According

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to Jennifer, it's my contention that prior to like the 1950s,

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women often did not work outside the home, except during war

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times. And the women who quote stayed at home that were not of

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the upper class, and I wish you could see me do the air quotes.

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I could do video, but I'm not. They actually were doing work a

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bazillion hours a day, because they were working out in the

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fields part of the day, they were making all the meals from

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scratch making their own lye soap so they could do the

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laundry like they they had, they had it rough and thank you God

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that I wasn't born then. So we move into the 50s. And women

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start staying at home, because now the incomes are better the

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men are home from the war, and they're able to stay home. And

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then we move into the 60s and more and more women start

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working. And in the 70s, even more women are working. And

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there's this idea that if a woman works full time outside

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the house, or even inside the house, it doesn't really matter.

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But that she has to do everything, plus earn that

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money. So I can go out and work all day and literally bring home

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the bacon, the next part of the commercial is fry it up in a

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pan. So the woman has to go to work and earn the money and then

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buy the groceries, they didn't really bring that they have to

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buy the groceries, then come home and cook dinner. Nothing is

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ever said about shared responsibilities or helping each

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other or supporting one another. But then I'm going to make sure

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that I never let you forget your man. I'm going to do it all.

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They don't even throw the children in there. But you know,

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she's typically mostly responsible for the children. So

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now there's even more pressure and weight on women and how

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they're supposed to show up and what they're supposed to do.

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Now, I've always worked, I always told my husband that you

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know, my goal in life was to get married, have kids and quit my

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job. And I did get married, we never were able to have kids and

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I quit my job and I'm still working. So it didn't really

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work out that way for me, probably because I didn't really

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want it to work out that way. So I just want to I want to, like

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hammer this home a little bit. And you know, you need to Google

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the commercial Anjali perfume, E and J O Li. Because it really

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sets up a stereotype that we buy into we buy into his women. I

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have friends who got up an hour before their husband and kids so

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that the house was spotless before they left for work. Or if

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they worked from home, the house was spotless before everybody

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got up, they cooked dinner every night they did the laundry. The

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man was responsible for the yard Well, I live in Oklahoma and

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you're responsible for the yard like maybe five or six months

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out of the year. The rest of the time, you know, the lawn just

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sits there, right? You're not mowing the lawn or playing

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flowers. It's not an equal division of chores or time. Now

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I'm pretty fortunate because I told my husband pretty early on

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like that's not the game we're gonna play. It doesn't work for

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me, because my dad always helped my mom out probably not nearly

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as much as he could have or should have. But he was helpful.

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He didn't just you know, sit and read the paper he was very much

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involved. We have to take care of ourselves before we can take

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care of other people. The whole thing about the mask dropping

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down on an aeroplane put your mask on first before you put it

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on the children or men next to you. I love it when they say

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that that's typically a Southwest Airlines thing is

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pretty funny though. But the question becomes how are you

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taking care of yourself? How are you setting boundaries? My

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husband and I had a rough patch a number of years ago. And I

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said, You know what? I'll tell you what, I'll cook two meals a

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week, because he just kind of randomly got it in his head that

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I should come home and cook dinner every night. But we both

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worked full time. How's that fair? And it had never been that

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way before. He just kind of got a burn in his bonnet and decided

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that's how it was going to be. And I let him know it was not

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going to be that way. And it wasn't and it's not. But I

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agreed I'll cook two meals a week. It could be Saturday and

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Sunday. It can be both on Saturday, both on Sunday. I

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don't really know. But you're not going to hold me to coming

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home every night and cooking dinner for us. I'll do it. Some

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I love to cook. I cook a lot. But I didn't like that pressure.

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I didn't like that feeling of I was solely responsible. When I

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talk to friends and relatives. Most of my girlfriend's and my

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mom. Oh my gosh, this was such a big deal for my mom. They really

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got sick and tired of having to decide what was for dinner. If

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you just say I want a grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup

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for dinner, Fine, let's do that. But having to come up with the

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idea is just like haha, it's like a killer. Thank God for all

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the food shows and all the reels on the Facebook. Because now

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I've got 40 bazillion ideas on what to cook for dinner. I may

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not want to do it though. Lucky for me, I love leftovers. So

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it's really great when I make something and we can eat it for

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several days. My husband is good with leftovers too. I hear

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people are like, Oh, I hate leftovers. My dad was that way

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till my mom had a stroke. And he had to take care of her for 11

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years. He decided he loved leftovers and whether he cooked

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it or we brought something over leftovers were good for him. So

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what are you doing to take care of yourself? You might be

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bringing home the bacon, you might be frying it up in a pan,

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you might be taking care of your significant other, whether it's

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a man or a woman, whatever. But how are you taking care of

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yourself recharging yourself and being able to show up? Being

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able to show up I love Jensen sheroes term a badass, how are

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you showing up as a badass, but you have to take care of

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yourself to be a badass. It is currently April 2024. And I had

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my knee replaced on March 18 2024. And that's a pretty big

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surgery. And I'm kind of tired, I'm going to physical therapy

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I'm doing really great. And it dawned on me the other day. I

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was 30 years old the last time I had a knee surgery this

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significant I had a knee realignment look it up it was

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terrible. And at that time, I took off four weeks of work. And

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when I went back to work, I only worked half days for several

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more weeks. I don't know if it was two weeks or four weeks,

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because it was a big surgery to get over. Now granted, I don't

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have to get in a car and drive downtown to go to work. But it

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hadn't even been two full weeks when I had my first client call.

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And let me just tell you, it kind of wore me out, I had to

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get up, take a shower and be camera ready for my client call

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because we do it on Zoom. I'm a little bit older than 30. Now it

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was kind of a big surgery, it's taken a bit to recover from. It

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hasn't even been four weeks yet. And I'm already doing a lot. So

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part of it is I'm thrilled to death that I'm able to do so

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much. But I have to remind myself I had a pretty major

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surgery is still healing, I still have swelling, I don't

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have you know, 100% of the strength back or even more the

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strength I want to have. So how am I taking care of me? So when

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you consider your day, your perfect day, I love this

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visualization exercise. You wake up in the morning, what is your

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ideal day? And what does it look like? How do you feel? How do

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you show up? Who do you serve? And how do you make it all the

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way through the day, all the way till bedtime? And not feel like

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the life has literally been sucked out of you? I saw a super

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cute clip on Facebook because you know that's what you do when

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you've had surgery and you're hanging out and you're in

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between shows on the Netflix and Amazon and Hulu, all the things.

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And Dax Shepard was on and he said his daughter his 11 year

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old and I don't know which one's older. I know that he and

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Kristen Bell have two daughters. And he his daughter came into

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the bedroom one morning and said, Gee Dad, I'm just not

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feeling it. You can Google this and get the exact story but I'm

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gonna paraphrase because that's what I like to do. And she said

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Dad, I just I'm just not feeling it today. I don't feel good and

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he was like, Well, did your stomach hurt? Does your head

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hurt? No, no, nothing really hurt. And he goes, will come

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with me and he got out of bed and he let her into the bathroom

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and there stood in front of the mirror and he goes, repeat after

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me. Let me see if I'm gonna get this right. I'm an effing

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badass. And the 11 year old says it and he goes, and I'm an F

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this day up. And she said it, you know, actual words. And then

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he goes on to say, I don't condone teaching your 11 year

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old kids to curse, but it got the point across. And I looked

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at her and said, How are you feeling as she was, I'm good.

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I'm going to eff this day up. And off she went. So everybody

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in their circle started learning about this, this mantra. So

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Kristen is on set, and she's having a really rough day,

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nothing is going quite according to her plan. And she goes into

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her dressing room and are where hair and makeup is. And she's

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like, Ah, this day, it's just everything's going wrong. I just

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feel terrible. And her makeup artists was from like Columbia

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or something. And she, they actually have the little mantra

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on taped on the mirror. And then hair and makeup gal grabs her

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hands, you know, they become friends. Have you ever had your

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hair and makeup done there right up in your business, you kind of

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become friends, or you get a new one, right? And it's holding her

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hands and said, Kristen, remember? You're a bit and you f

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everything up. So she didn't get it quite right. Was the

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sentiment of it, right? So you have the choice every day to

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wake up and decide how you're going to show up. Setting a

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boundary does not make you a bad person. Saying no is a complete

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sentence. You don't have to explain if your answer is no.

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And it's okay. So you can bring home the bacon and you can fry

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it up in a pan and you can share it or you can eat the whole

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entire pan of bacon. I'm Jennifer Takagi and if you would

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like to know how to work with me, go to Jennifer takagi.com I

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think you have to put a www in there first. Or if you want to

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expand your horizons, get my gift 12 minute gift.com And I

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got three audio files in there to walk you through how to be

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more successful and get those wins. I'm Jennifer Takagi and I

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look forward to connecting with you soon