Episode 289

Striving for Balance - STOP! 3 Keys from Magdalena Raj | DFS 289

Get all the inside secrets and tools you need to help you develop your intuitive and leadership skills so you are on the path to the highest level of success with ease.  Magdalena shatters the idea of reaching balance!

In this episode you will learn:


  • Protect the vibrant core
  • Intentional culture  achievement, accomplishment - worthy of celebration
  • Alter your autopilot


A former corporate leader, now entrepreneur, Magdalena Raj has played many roles. Whether balancing clients with play dates, business turn-arounds with math drills, or building a business, she intimately understands the rewards, impacts and pitfalls of HOW you manage those roles. As a certified coach, speaker, healer, and author, Magdalena draws on her varied background to help her clients achieve their goals with greater ease, and, in ways that also empower, enrich and sustain their lives.


Connect with Magdalena on LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/magdalena-b-raj/


If you are ready to start reaching your goals instead of simply dreaming about it, start today with 12minutegift.com! 


 Grab your FREE meditation:  Reduce Your Anxiety MEDITATION


Are you ready to tiptoe into your intuition and tap into your soul’s message? Let’s talk 



Listen in as Jennifer Takagi, founder of Takagi Consulting, 5X time Amazon.Com Best Selling-Author, Certified Soul Care Coach, Certified Jack Canfield Success Principle Trainer, Certified Professional Behavioral Analyst and Facilitator of the DISC Behavioral Profiles, Certified Change Style Indicator Facilitator, Law of Attraction Practitioner, and Certified Coaching Specialist - leadership entrepreneur, speaker and trainer, shares the lessons she’s learned along the way.  Each episode is designed to give you the tools, ideas, and inspiration to lead with integrity. Humor is a big part of Jennifer’s life, so expect a few puns and possibly some sarcasm.  Tune in for a motivational guest, a story or tips to take you even closer to that success you’ve been coveting.  Please share the episodes that inspired you the most and be sure to leave a comment.  


Official Website: http://www.takagiconsulting.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jennifertakagi/

Facebook: facebook.com/takagiconsulting


Wishing you the best,

Jennifer Takagi

Speaker, Trainer, Author, Catalyst for Healing


PS: We would love to hear from you! For questions, coaching, or to book interviews, please email my team at Jennifer@takagiconsulting.com

Transcript
Jennifer Takagi:

Welcome to destined for success. I'm your

Jennifer Takagi:

host Jennifer Takagi and today is my favorite day it's PATA

Jennifer Takagi:

Palooza Day. And I have another amazing guest join me today.

Jennifer Takagi:

Magdalena? Is it, Raj? Yes. Did I get that? Right? Awesome. She

Jennifer Takagi:

is. She goes from business, to coaching, to healing to

Jennifer Takagi:

neuroscience, she has a whole entire magic bag of a plethora

Jennifer Takagi:

of things that she brings to the table. Tell us a little bit

Jennifer Takagi:

about how you got here. And what like what your favorite way to

Jennifer Takagi:

work with clients is your

Magdalena Raj:

so I am a high impact coach. And what I do is I

Magdalena Raj:

kind of work a lot with stressed over high achievers, and even

Magdalena Raj:

the high achievers that don't call themselves that. Because

Magdalena Raj:

there's a lot of us that don't own up to it, you know, I didn't

Magdalena Raj:

back in my corporate days, I would have never thought I was

Magdalena Raj:

that I wasn't running the country. I wasn't running the

Magdalena Raj:

billion dollar corporation. So you know, I'm kind of trucking

Magdalena Raj:

along, I would have never thought about a high achiever.

Magdalena Raj:

But there's kind of a mindset, and then it becomes a body

Magdalena Raj:

mechanism that goes along with that, where you drive and you

Magdalena Raj:

just go and you go. And in my career, I saw folks like that,

Magdalena Raj:

and you know, things look great on the surface. But then you

Magdalena Raj:

start to see that there's other challenges going on behind the

Magdalena Raj:

scenes, because so frequently, the last place that comes out is

Magdalena Raj:

in the workplace. And I found the same in the entrepreneurial

Magdalena Raj:

space. As I meet entrepreneurs, right? We you present in a

Magdalena Raj:

particular way. But there's things going on in the

Magdalena Raj:

background. And those things can impact how you show up. Because

Magdalena Raj:

if you can't bring your best self into the room, and you

Magdalena Raj:

can't show up as your best self, then you're actually going to

Magdalena Raj:

wind up impacting not only your relationships, and your health,

Magdalena Raj:

but also that income. That's important as well.

Jennifer Takagi:

And it all plays in together doesn't it?

Jennifer Takagi:

does.

Magdalena Raj:

It absolutely does. And I you know, I saw it,

Magdalena Raj:

as I said in the corporate world, I I love my life. Now

Magdalena Raj:

there's a place a time when I lost almost everything. And in

Magdalena Raj:

doing that, you know, it was like my marriage ended the

Magdalena Raj:

company that I had worked for for 10 years and poured

Magdalena Raj:

everything into one of the largest bankruptcies in the US.

Magdalena Raj:

And then I found out my personal investments hadn't really been

Magdalena Raj:

managed. So it was like no husband, no investments, no job,

Magdalena Raj:

no income, no 401k, no stock, no severance, oh, no health care,

Magdalena Raj:

because it all fell into the bankruptcy court. You know, and

Magdalena Raj:

at that point, you want to freeze. But I have one wonderful

Magdalena Raj:

thing there. And that was my little two year old. And so I

Magdalena Raj:

couldn't crawl into like the snail shell where you want to

Magdalena Raj:

stay, I had to step out. And I got help. And that kind of

Magdalena Raj:

opened my eyes to coaching. I had kept therapy and coaching

Magdalena Raj:

and looking at things and looking at the relationship

Magdalena Raj:

because I didn't want to be there that way again. And then I

Magdalena Raj:

said, Okay, what do I do now. So I have to rebuild. What the

Magdalena Raj:

heck, I'm older, I have a two year old I've got life is

Magdalena Raj:

complex. So my runway shorter, which was my trajectory is

Magdalena Raj:

higher. I really got a bus to move, so to speak. So I knew my

Magdalena Raj:

what I knew my why might that little darling. But it's in the

Magdalena Raj:

how is the how is where we live. And that's what what's the most

Magdalena Raj:

important thing is what goes on in the house. Because that's

Magdalena Raj:

every day. And so you go back in and you throw yourself in, and

Magdalena Raj:

you get working and you go at it. And then something happens,

Magdalena Raj:

because we all have that, right? All of a sudden, maybe my gifted

Magdalena Raj:

child isn't turning in the homework. Didn't see that one

Magdalena Raj:

coming. family member has something really awful going on

Magdalena Raj:

didn't see that one happening, something else goes on and we

Magdalena Raj:

can it can hit us and when you when I say the high achiever,

Magdalena Raj:

right, it's the, I'm going to keep going, I'm going to make it

Magdalena Raj:

happen. I can keep loaded on, I gotta keep going. And what you

Magdalena Raj:

wind up with is you kind of start treating yourself like

Magdalena Raj:

this infinitely renewable, natural resource. And we know

Magdalena Raj:

those don't exist. And really, you're moving yourself towards

Magdalena Raj:

extinction. Because I'm, trust me, I love a challenge. So I

Magdalena Raj:

could take on the corporate business challenges and do all

Magdalena Raj:

of that. But it's, you know, it's so seductive, but it can

Magdalena Raj:

become ultimately reductive. If you don't do it in the best way

Magdalena Raj:

for yourself. And when you try to give that 150% All the time.

Magdalena Raj:

Just like anything else you can make an investment of there's a

Magdalena Raj:

point when you run out, you know you're back then that resources

Magdalena Raj:

getting tapped. Just like anything else if you run out of

Magdalena Raj:

time You gotta go the bank. Well, here's what you do. You

Magdalena Raj:

borrow on your tomorrow. Oh, wow. You borrow on your

Magdalena Raj:

tomorrow. And that comes in the shape of the relationships you

Magdalena Raj:

have. It comes in the shape of your health. And ultimately,

Magdalena Raj:

your mindset. And ultimately it will impact the thing that seems

Magdalena Raj:

to be the most important, which is the thing that's giving you

Magdalena Raj:

the income that's letting you keep moving forward, moving

Magdalena Raj:

forward. So I saw so many people where it looked great, but

Magdalena Raj:

behind the scenes, the crackling was happening happening. And

Magdalena Raj:

what's funny is, I mean, I looked at my toolkit when I

Magdalena Raj:

started up with this again, and I and I pulled out the work

Magdalena Raj:

ethic I got from my little German grandmother Work Hard, Be

Magdalena Raj:

nice, you'll do well you don't. And then my mother was the first

Magdalena Raj:

generation to she was all about everything worth doing is worth

Magdalena Raj:

doing well. So yeah, for also perfectionism and there with it.

Magdalena Raj:

And then this is really bad. But there was this commercial by

Magdalena Raj:

background before going in the workforce. And until this tall

Magdalena Raj:

will be blonde, right? Going through different What will you

Magdalena Raj:

see the resemblance, right? I did. You know, you should go

Magdalena Raj:

through her life. And she's got the mother, the professional

Magdalena Raj:

woman, the homemaker, the sexy spouse, and I can bring home the

Magdalena Raj:

bacon, fry it up in a pan never let you forget you're a man

Magdalena Raj:

because I'm a woman was wonderful. Yeah. So but you can

Magdalena Raj:

have it all. If you do it all, you can have it all. And here's

Magdalena Raj:

the funny thing, there was a tagline, sometimes it's good to

Magdalena Raj:

read the taglines, it was the eight hour perfume for the 24

Magdalena Raj:

hour woman. Take, you know that. But it was gonna take you 24

Magdalena Raj:

hours to do all that stuff. See, I didn't focus on the tagline.

Magdalena Raj:

And you're gonna get, you're gonna get support 30% of the

Magdalena Raj:

time. But that's kind of where we go with having it all and

Magdalena Raj:

doing it all. And I finally said, you know, as I looked

Magdalena Raj:

through, it's like something is wrong with this equation. When I

Magdalena Raj:

shifted, I said, Okay, as I left the workforce and said, I need

Magdalena Raj:

to do something different. That's how I got into the

Magdalena Raj:

coaching cycles. I said, Well, how do I, how do I shift this?

Magdalena Raj:

And that's where I got into the healing. I didn't expect myself

Magdalena Raj:

to ever go into energy healing. And that's when you find out,

Magdalena Raj:

Oh, I've been operating up here from the waist up, I'm all in my

Magdalena Raj:

head. Isn't this lovely? And where's the rest of me and you

Magdalena Raj:

start to put the pieces back together. And I found that a lot

Magdalena Raj:

of it was all these different roles we play. So let me let me

Magdalena Raj:

let me play with you for a moment when you meet someone,

Magdalena Raj:

right? The first thing you say is so so what do you do? What's

Magdalena Raj:

among the first things right? And your answer? And you may say

Magdalena Raj:

I'm a podcast host, and oh, I'm a coach. I'm a doctor. I'm an

Magdalena Raj:

engineer, I'm a teacher. But none of it's true. They ask what

Magdalena Raj:

you do. You tell them what you are. That's a title of your main

Magdalena Raj:

role. So it's kind of like if you see the speaker, the other

Magdalena Raj:

keynote speaker, and then you know, looking all wonderful

Magdalena Raj:

professional up there. And then you find out oh, I don't want to

Magdalena Raj:

talk last night. Let's see, I have this four year old who has

Magdalena Raj:

a great future in fluid dynamics. And they'd like to see

Magdalena Raj:

how water works with things dropped in it. So they were a

Magdalena Raj:

plumber at 11 o'clock last time. And we play 35 or more walls in

Magdalena Raj:

our given day. Like, give me a morning, get up in the morning,

Magdalena Raj:

right? I'm a fashion consultant figuring out what I'm going to

Magdalena Raj:

wear doesn't matter if I'm leaving the house, and it's only

Magdalena Raj:

from the waist up. And it's presume. And then maybe you've

Magdalena Raj:

got kids so you got to be a drill sergeant getting them up

Magdalena Raj:

and you're a short order cook and you're making them breakfast

Magdalena Raj:

or lunch and then you're oh, what's the logistics expert?

Magdalena Raj:

Who's going where and how are this? How's that happening? And

Magdalena Raj:

if your parents your communication, because you're on

Magdalena Raj:

the WhatsApp and then you look at what the Capitol obviously

Magdalena Raj:

got to get back to see if you gotta worry about it. And then

Magdalena Raj:

maybe somewhere your chauffeur, you're getting kids places and

Magdalena Raj:

maybe makeup artist right before the camera goes on or you walk

Magdalena Raj:

in the office. Oh, that's right, you're starting your day. And I

Magdalena Raj:

can go on to the rest of the day and that, but the thing is, we

Magdalena Raj:

operate that way. And what wrongs come with is baggage.

Magdalena Raj:

Doesn't matter if it's an old duffel bag or Louie baton

Magdalena Raj:

student trucks, it's baggage. And the baggage is in the form

Magdalena Raj:

of expectations. And expectations mean this it means

Magdalena Raj:

energy and effort and emotion from you. And that hits your

Magdalena Raj:

time because the expectations aren't just what you have. It's

Magdalena Raj:

what other people have. And we're caught in it we say to

Magdalena Raj:

each other. Well, that's your role. That's my role. And

Magdalena Raj:

there's five different types. There's majors and minors and

Magdalena Raj:

the stick on one's the one when you go to help somebody wants

Magdalena Raj:

and then it kind of becomes a thing. It's like when you had

Magdalena Raj:

that little stick kick me thing on the back, it sticks with you,

Magdalena Raj:

right? And then there's the stealth ones, the ones that can

Magdalena Raj:

saboteurs that sabotage you right like the smart one, the

Magdalena Raj:

reliable one, the good kid. Right? Or then maybe it's the

Magdalena Raj:

loser or any of the other names that go with it. Right? Those

Magdalena Raj:

are the hidden ones that come out and impact us but all of

Magdalena Raj:

that we feel in our body. And as it is impacts your effort and

Magdalena Raj:

your energy, it's chewing up your time. And you cannot

Magdalena Raj:

possibly function the best way you want to be.

Jennifer Takagi:

That's true. So now that we know, I mean, you've

Jennifer Takagi:

like put a magnifying glass on it, we might have had a thought

Jennifer Takagi:

is, but you've now put a magnifying glass and a

Jennifer Takagi:

spotlight, I'm gonna say both. So what can we do to slow it

Jennifer Takagi:

down? Or stop it or step out of it? Like, now what?

Magdalena Raj:

Where I go from there is when I work with

Magdalena Raj:

hoaxes, I think there's three key things that help three P

Magdalena Raj:

factors. And one is, you need to have a core a really vibrant

Magdalena Raj:

core. What I mean by that is, who are you? Often we think we

Magdalena Raj:

know, but we're really got an image that's like, maybe 10

Magdalena Raj:

years old, or 20 years old, or whatever point we fixed it. And

Magdalena Raj:

we're kind of operating like that. So who are you? What are

Magdalena Raj:

your values? What are your beliefs? What are the things

Magdalena Raj:

that are important to you? What are your non negotiables? Who

Magdalena Raj:

you are, who are you? Where do you want to go? And how do you

Magdalena Raj:

want to be seen as you get there? How do you want to show

Magdalena Raj:

up. Because if you can't show up the way you want to be seen, you

Magdalena Raj:

won't be. So that's kind of your core, and you need to protect

Magdalena Raj:

that that core is what everything operates around. If

Magdalena Raj:

you ever see a plane, you know, me show you the dashboard on the

Magdalena Raj:

plane, right? Well, back in there's a gyroscope, and

Magdalena Raj:

everything operates off that gyroscope. So if you don't have

Magdalena Raj:

your core straight, you don't know where you are within

Magdalena Raj:

relation to things, and you can't navigate through the

Magdalena Raj:

clouds effectively. The next thing you need is an intentional

Magdalena Raj:

culture. And what does that mean? What is your culture? Do

Magdalena Raj:

you just have a culture of achievement? Do you have a

Magdalena Raj:

culture of accomplishment when you do something? Does it count?

Magdalena Raj:

Or is it only one it's achieving? And when you get that

Magdalena Raj:

kind of high achiever mindsets, like Is it worthy of

Magdalena Raj:

celebration? So do you have a culture celebration? And what do

Magdalena Raj:

you celebrate? And is only major thing to have a culture of

Magdalena Raj:

exploration? Are you teaching your kids that? Do you have a

Magdalena Raj:

culture of failure? Where it's okay? And do you have a culture

Magdalena Raj:

of learning? So maybe have a culture of consequence, and

Magdalena Raj:

that's fine, but you have one of learning to? That's okay, we

Magdalena Raj:

learned that one, I can go on with them. But what are the

Magdalena Raj:

things you build into your culture and all too often it

Magdalena Raj:

becomes very, it's like two or three things that you focus on.

Magdalena Raj:

And then the last thing is, how do you do that alignment. So

Magdalena Raj:

when I work with my clients, there are things we do from like

Magdalena Raj:

neuroscience, where you start to train you change, right habits

Magdalena Raj:

or behaviors that are repeated, you start to look at those

Magdalena Raj:

things, but you get a little deeper as to what's driving them

Magdalena Raj:

and you practice your practice so that when you are in the high

Magdalena Raj:

stakes moment, or in the crunchy moment, you can show up in the

Magdalena Raj:

best possible way as your best self. And we work with the

Magdalena Raj:

energy so that the same thing happens is you sit there and go,

Magdalena Raj:

Oh, let me see what this is like, let me see what I'm

Magdalena Raj:

feeling here. I'm gonna like blend those together. Because we

Magdalena Raj:

are one person. That's like that whole work life balance, where

Magdalena Raj:

we pretend that it's like, you know, it's a binary situation

Magdalena Raj:

here, it's a sheet of paper, it's only two dimensional. We

Magdalena Raj:

got 12 dimensions I work with folks on. And when they start to

Magdalena Raj:

look at that, that's one of the first things we do they realize,

Magdalena Raj:

oh, I don't even focus on that part of me. I think it's just

Magdalena Raj:

going to happen on its own. But if you don't alter your

Magdalena Raj:

autopilot, which runs 90% of your life, you're going to be

Magdalena Raj:

fighting against it. And the last thing you need to do is be

Magdalena Raj:

fighting against yourself. Because you want to have greater

Magdalena Raj:

ease and less effort to go forward. So that's we go

Jennifer Takagi:

I love that what's your vibrant core, your

Jennifer Takagi:

intentional culture? I love that the culture is intentional, like

Jennifer Takagi:

we choose and decide what we're going to have it be? And then

Jennifer Takagi:

how do you align? How are we in alignment? So um, I love this

Jennifer Takagi:

conversation. So how do you work with people? How can we get

Jennifer Takagi:

ahold of you? And what does that look like?

Magdalena Raj:

I work with people in my coaching program.

Magdalena Raj:

It's called mold your life. And the best way to do it is I

Magdalena Raj:

actually, well, there's a download that kind of helps you

Magdalena Raj:

take a little look at where you are to get you started. Kind of

Magdalena Raj:

your show up meter. Take a look at that, see where that goes.

Magdalena Raj:

You can reach out to me at talk magdalena.com and get some time

Magdalena Raj:

on my calendar and we can have a chat and we can look at what can

Magdalena Raj:

you do that gives you the greatest impact with your next

Magdalena Raj:

step. Oh, as you do a high impact coach, that's what we

Magdalena Raj:

focus on. It's not undoing everything. And it's not just

Magdalena Raj:

cutting things out. It's very intentional to say where you are

Magdalena Raj:

right now, what gives you the greatest benefit across all

Magdalena Raj:

those 12 dimensions of your life because that starts to lift

Magdalena Raj:

things and we start with More things to see you start to get

Magdalena Raj:

some traction.

Jennifer Takagi:

Yeah, sometimes the littlest shift can make the

Jennifer Takagi:

biggest ripple, kind of like a little pebble in a pond, and

Jennifer Takagi:

absolutely goes out. And we often focus on like the big

Jennifer Takagi:

thing. Sometimes it's the little thing, it's that you know,

Jennifer Takagi:

Princess and the pee, it's the pee under the mattress, not

Jennifer Takagi:

everything else around this,

Magdalena Raj:

it is I would leave your listeners with three

Magdalena Raj:

quick things, the first thing to do is give yourself permission.

Magdalena Raj:

You have to give yourself permission to play, to explore,

Magdalena Raj:

to consider, there could be something different for you,

Magdalena Raj:

whatever you've locked in, whatever you're absolutely

Magdalena Raj:

adamant, well, it can't be different. Give yourself

Magdalena Raj:

permission to open your mind with it. To go and spend some

Magdalena Raj:

time being aware. Look at what goes on in your life. And in

Magdalena Raj:

your day, take a moment to step back, step out of it and see how

Magdalena Raj:

you're reacting, how you're what's going on around you.

Magdalena Raj:

Maybe what triggers you. So just for a week, jot down things

Magdalena Raj:

become aware of it. And then the third thing is pick one

Magdalena Raj:

behavior. Maybe you're going to walk in the door, and no matter

Magdalena Raj:

what happened, you're going to say I love you, someone you

Magdalena Raj:

actually did. Maybe you're going to do it five times a day. Maybe

Magdalena Raj:

it's a behavior, maybe you're going to look in the mirror and

Magdalena Raj:

say I love you and say to yourself, pick a behavior. Just

Magdalena Raj:

do that one, start with a small little ship. And you can do that

Magdalena Raj:

tomorrow. Or today. I love

Jennifer Takagi:

that because sometimes things just get too

Jennifer Takagi:

big. They look too big. I've been in coaching programs and

Jennifer Takagi:

it's like, do all these things. And I struggled and I did all

Jennifer Takagi:

those things. And it still didn't work well because like

Jennifer Takagi:

the first thing wasn't quite right. Right. So you got to

Jennifer Takagi:

start small. I love it. And I loved our conversation today.

Jennifer Takagi:

Thank you for your great insights. It's very helpful.

Magdalena Raj:

Oh, I'm glad I enjoyed being here with you. And

Magdalena Raj:

this has been fun. Thank you for your time.

Jennifer Takagi:

How to Palooza is a great day. It is it's a

Jennifer Takagi:

busy day. It's a very busy day it is nonstop. Well thank you

Jennifer Takagi:

for your time and sharing with the audience. connections with

Jennifer Takagi:

Magdalena will be in the show notes. You're already on your

Jennifer Takagi:

phone. Just click down grab the show notes. Click the link you

Jennifer Takagi:

get there. Thank you for being here today. It was really great.

Magdalena Raj:

Thanks so much.

Jennifer Takagi:

I'm Jennifer Takagi and I look forward to

Jennifer Takagi:

connecting with you soon

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About the Podcast

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Destined For Success
Destined For Success With Jennifer Takagi

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About your host

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Jennifer Takagi


I am Jennifer Takagi, an Executive Leadership + Communication Coach who teaches leaders how to play well at work so they can drive better performance from people they lead, increase profitability and create a purposeful workplace where people want to come and play—productively.