What’s keeping you from living in the present moment with Gayle Weill | DFS 307

Jennifer Takagi: 00:00:02

Welcome to Destin for success. I'm your

Jennifer Takagi: 00:00:04

host, Jennifer Takagi, and it is pot of Palooza Day. I'm so

Jennifer Takagi: 00:00:08

excited. I love pot of Palooza because I get to meet so many

Jennifer Takagi: 00:00:12

people I wouldn't normally meet and come in contact with, and

Jennifer Takagi: 00:00:15

get to hang out with and bring them to you. So my next guest is

Jennifer Takagi: 00:00:20

the one and only amazing Gail wheel. And Gail is a

Jennifer Takagi: 00:00:24

psychotherapist, and she focuses on multiple I can talk, yeah, I

Jennifer Takagi: 00:00:30

do this for a living. She goes into multiple modalities to help

Jennifer Takagi: 00:00:36

people heal, which, as you know, I'm all about healing and energy

Jennifer Takagi: 00:00:39

healing. I love all the modalities. Gail, welcome to the

Jennifer Takagi: 00:00:43

show.

Gayle Weill: 00:00:44

Thank you, Jennifer. I'm so happy to be

Gayle Weill: 00:00:47

here and to meet with you and and talk about all the good

Gayle Weill: 00:00:50

stuff, all the

Jennifer Takagi: 00:00:52

good stuff. So we talked just a little bit in

Jennifer Takagi: 00:00:56

the green room about the work that you do, one of the things,

Jennifer Takagi: 00:01:00

one of the many things you help clients with, is anxiety, and

Jennifer Takagi: 00:01:06

you have multiple modalities for that, and with anxiety so many

Jennifer Takagi: 00:01:09

other things, right? Um, with that, it's typically not just a

Jennifer Takagi: 00:01:14

one thing. In my experience as a non licensed psychotherapist,

Jennifer Takagi: 00:01:19

and I love the fact that you do your psychotherapy via zoom,

Jennifer Takagi: 00:01:23

because that just really opens it up. People don't have to

Jennifer Takagi: 00:01:25

leave. They don't have to, like, make a big deal to get out of

Jennifer Takagi: 00:01:28

the office. It's just like, I love all that. So tell me how

Jennifer Takagi: 00:01:33

you got so passionate about this, how you show up in the

Jennifer Takagi: 00:01:35

world. And let's talk about some of the modalities you use.

Unknown: 00:01:39

Yeah, 100% so I have always wanted to go into the

Unknown: 00:01:42

healthy profession. I actually started my career off as a

Unknown: 00:01:47

nursing major in school. I quickly decided that, you know,

Unknown: 00:01:51

going into medical sciences, not my area of expertise. I love

Unknown: 00:01:56

instead, to be able to talk with people and brainstorm ways to to

Unknown: 00:02:01

help help them be their best selves and to make life a little

Unknown: 00:02:04

bit better. You know, that is really just something I really

Unknown: 00:02:08

enjoy doing on the daily

Jennifer Takagi: 00:02:10

I love that. And I had a I had a situation

Jennifer Takagi: 00:02:15

with a toxic boss, and I call the employee assistance program,

Jennifer Takagi: 00:02:20

so those of you listeners who work for corporations that have

Jennifer Takagi: 00:02:23

employee assistance programs, I highly suggest that you take

Jennifer Takagi: 00:02:26

advantage of it. And I went to see the counselor therapist in

Jennifer Takagi: 00:02:31

that and she said, you're sharing too much with your boss.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:02:38

She's taking everything you say, turning it around and using it

Jennifer Takagi: 00:02:42

against you. And I was like, But wait, if she asked for three

Jennifer Takagi: 00:02:46

things on the report, and I know she needs seven more, I'm going

Jennifer Takagi: 00:02:51

to give her all 10. And she goes, No, you give her 10 and

Jennifer Takagi: 00:02:55

she asked for three, she's going to find ways to use that against

Jennifer Takagi: 00:02:58

you. You're you're trying to treat her like a totally normal

Jennifer Takagi: 00:03:01

person that you would have a conversation with, but that's

Jennifer Takagi: 00:03:04

not the relationship that's going on here. Only give her

Jennifer Takagi: 00:03:07

what she wants. So I'm going to say that a therapist like

Jennifer Takagi: 00:03:10

literally saved my life, because it changed the whole dynamic,

Jennifer Takagi: 00:03:15

right? When I showed up differently, it modified the

Jennifer Takagi: 00:03:18

whole dynamic. I would have never thought that could have

Jennifer Takagi: 00:03:20

happened, but lo and behold, it did.

Unknown: 00:03:23

That is so incredibly inspiring. Wow. Isn't it great

Unknown: 00:03:28

to be able to talk with an objective person about these

Unknown: 00:03:31

things, and then they can give you that kind of feedback, and

Unknown: 00:03:33

then you can see a world of a difference,

Jennifer Takagi: 00:03:36

wow. Well, I like to say, and I Gosh, I don't

Jennifer Takagi: 00:03:40

even know how many years ago it was the first time I said this.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:03:43

When you go see a therapist or a counselor, you get to scream and

Jennifer Takagi: 00:03:47

yell and cry and say all the things you want to say, and you

Jennifer Takagi: 00:03:51

don't have to go to lunch with them. You don't have to work

Jennifer Takagi: 00:03:53

with them, and you don't have to sleep with them, because

Jennifer Takagi: 00:03:57

everybody else in your life kind of falls in one of those

Jennifer Takagi: 00:04:00

categories.

Unknown: 00:04:01

Yeah, yeah. It makes it so that you know the

Unknown: 00:04:05

relationship, the therapeutic relationship, I mean to say it's

Unknown: 00:04:08

all about you, so that is your space to be able to vent without

Unknown: 00:04:12

worry about, you know, anything that you owe the therapist? You

Unknown: 00:04:18

know that the idea is that it is an objective person that has

Unknown: 00:04:21

experience and knowledge in order to help you. Ah,

Jennifer Takagi: 00:04:24

I love that. So you mentioned that you can use

Jennifer Takagi: 00:04:29

hypnosis as one of your methods modalities to help people. How

Jennifer Takagi: 00:04:35

does that work?

Unknown: 00:04:36

Yes, so there's a lot of confusion around hypnosis,

Unknown: 00:04:40

actually. If you tell tell me more. Yeah, I think a big fear

Unknown: 00:04:46

when I say the word hypnosis is that there's some kind of form

Unknown: 00:04:50

of mind control, or that I'm going to make the person quack

Unknown: 00:04:53

like a duck, or that they won't be able to come out of whatever

Unknown: 00:04:57

trance I put them in hypnosis. This is not like it is shown in

Unknown: 00:05:03

the movies. It's not mind control whatsoever. It's simply

Unknown: 00:05:08

being in a state, a brain state, where you could speak directly

Unknown: 00:05:12

to the subconscious mind. And actually, people are hypnotized

Unknown: 00:05:15

on a daily basis and don't even realize it. Oh, do tell Ah,

Unknown: 00:05:23

yeah. So let's say you know you're watching a show on TV,

Unknown: 00:05:27

for example, and you know a commercial comes on, and you're

Unknown: 00:05:30

zoning out during that commercial. You're not paying

Unknown: 00:05:33

attention whatsoever. Your hearing is still on, meaning

Unknown: 00:05:37

like you don't turn your ears off. You can still hear what's

Unknown: 00:05:40

going on. You're just not paying attention when you're in that,

Unknown: 00:05:44

that state that's like the lightest state of hypnosis.

Unknown: 00:05:48

You're in a form of hypnosis, and you don't even realize it.

Unknown: 00:05:51

So you might then find yourself at the supermarket one day doing

Unknown: 00:05:55

your grocery shopping. Maybe you're in the cereal aisle, and

Unknown: 00:05:59

maybe I'm dating myself, but there used to be so many cereal

Unknown: 00:06:02

commercials, oh my goodness. But yeah, so you might be in the

Unknown: 00:06:06

cereal aisle buying yourself some, I don't know, Frosted

Unknown: 00:06:09

Flakes, and you're like, Whoa. I wasn't thinking of doing that.

Unknown: 00:06:13

But sure, you know, yeah, it's really when you're in that state

Unknown: 00:06:21

of mind, where you're, you know, just tuning everything out, not

Unknown: 00:06:24

paying attention, but you're still able to hear you are in a

Unknown: 00:06:28

state of hypnosis. It's interesting.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:06:32

Well, that's interesting. You say that

Jennifer Takagi: 00:06:34

because when I started seventh grade, it was a new school, and

Jennifer Takagi: 00:06:39

they had, like, an orientation day for the seventh graders, and

Jennifer Takagi: 00:06:44

one of the teachers suggested you get a tape recorder and

Jennifer Takagi: 00:06:48

record all your notes and worksheets and tests from the

Jennifer Takagi: 00:06:52

class to study. And so I went to my dad, I was like, Dad, I want

Jennifer Takagi: 00:06:56

a tape recorder, because they recommended a tape recorder. And

Jennifer Takagi: 00:06:59

he goes, Are you going to make straight A's? And I said, No,

Jennifer Takagi: 00:07:03

probably not. I mean, I was realistic about it, but I would

Jennifer Takagi: 00:07:08

all the way through seventh grade, through high school

Jennifer Takagi: 00:07:11

graduation, and all the way through college. I recorded all

Jennifer Takagi: 00:07:15

of my notes, and then while I was painting my nails, while I

Jennifer Takagi: 00:07:20

was cleaning my room, doing whatever else, I just played it

Jennifer Takagi: 00:07:23

over and over, again and again. I wasn't hyper aware of what was

Jennifer Takagi: 00:07:29

going on. It was just like playing in the background, and I

Jennifer Takagi: 00:07:35

had to give a I didn't have to. I was given the honor of doing

Jennifer Takagi: 00:07:39

an hour and a half keynote opening speech at an event, and

Jennifer Takagi: 00:07:43

I kind of had my talk together, so I recorded it, and then I

Jennifer Takagi: 00:07:47

listened to it the whole way there, but then when I got

Jennifer Takagi: 00:07:51

there, I was able to just step on the stage and do the talk

Jennifer Takagi: 00:07:54

right. It was, it was kind of effort effortless, but I hadn't

Jennifer Takagi: 00:07:58

really considered that listening to it 20 times, I was kind of in

Jennifer Takagi: 00:08:03

a light state of hypnosis, and getting that information

Jennifer Takagi: 00:08:06

embedded

Unknown: 00:08:08

your subconscious mind was absorbing all of that. Yeah,

Jennifer Takagi: 00:08:12

amazing. So if i So, I mentioned before we

Jennifer Takagi: 00:08:16

started, or as we were starting, that I have a free opt in on my

Jennifer Takagi: 00:08:19

website for a meditation to help reduce anxiety. And so what are,

Jennifer Takagi: 00:08:28

what are your suggestions, if someone felt like they were

Jennifer Takagi: 00:08:32

suffering from anxiety to reduce that?

Unknown: 00:08:35

You know, that's a really good question. It depends

Unknown: 00:08:38

on what is causing the anxiety. I would say, you know, a lot of

Unknown: 00:08:42

times with anxiety, we are very much, you know, worried about

Unknown: 00:08:45

something that's going to happen in the future, or we're dwelling

Unknown: 00:08:49

on something that has happened in the past that really bothered

Unknown: 00:08:52

us. You know, a big thing about anxiety is that we're not really

Unknown: 00:08:57

living in the present moment, but the present moment is all we

Unknown: 00:09:01

really have. So it's important to keep that in mind. And, you

Unknown: 00:09:06

know, try to brainstorm. What is getting in the way of being in

Unknown: 00:09:10

the present moment? Is it um? Is it biochemical? You know, is

Unknown: 00:09:13

there a specific um, like social anxiety, for example, where you

Unknown: 00:09:18

know, you're in social situations and your heart is

Unknown: 00:09:20

just racing, and you can't help that. You know, is that like a

Unknown: 00:09:23

biochemical symptom you're experiencing, and what can we do

Unknown: 00:09:26

to address that? That's just one example. Is it like, is there a

Unknown: 00:09:31

particular situation in which, you know, cognitive behavioral

Unknown: 00:09:36

therapy, for example, it addresses thoughts, feelings and

Unknown: 00:09:40

behaviors and how they're all interconnected. So if I'm

Unknown: 00:09:43

thinking something, that means I will feel a certain way about

Unknown: 00:09:47

that thought. I can change my thinking, and then that will

Unknown: 00:09:51

then change my behavior and change my feelings about it. But

Unknown: 00:09:55

sometimes, and this is where hypnosis could be incredibly

Unknown: 00:09:58

beneficial, some. Perhaps you have somebody who you know they

Unknown: 00:10:03

are able to change their thinking, but their feelings are

Unknown: 00:10:07

not changing with the thought. And in that case, hypnosis could

Unknown: 00:10:11

be really helpful, because that means that there is something

Unknown: 00:10:15

else going on there subconsciously to be as a

Unknown: 00:10:18

barrier so that you know they're not they're not able to align

Unknown: 00:10:22

their thoughts and their feelings.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:10:25

I love that, because in the work that I do,

Jennifer Takagi: 00:10:30

they've done some research, and they've determined that a

Jennifer Takagi: 00:10:33

trapped emotion is roughly the size of your fist. So if you're

Jennifer Takagi: 00:10:37

walking around with this fist or multiple fists full of emotions,

Jennifer Takagi: 00:10:42

literally inside your body, it's blocking everything, right? And

Jennifer Takagi: 00:10:47

that, in and of itself, causes anxiety because things aren't

Jennifer Takagi: 00:10:49

working well or properly. So is there something like I can do

Jennifer Takagi: 00:10:54

like you said, If you could change what you think, then that

Jennifer Takagi: 00:10:59

can lead to changing what you feel, but if it's a little too

Jennifer Takagi: 00:11:02

big, then the feelings may not catch up as quickly as as

Jennifer Takagi: 00:11:05

changing the thoughts. And I appreciate that distinction. But

Jennifer Takagi: 00:11:10

so if there's something I personally can do to address

Jennifer Takagi: 00:11:14

anxiety that I might be feeling or or knowing, if it's like a

Jennifer Takagi: 00:11:18

sometimes things are like a reasonable amount, like you've

Jennifer Takagi: 00:11:21

got a big presentation at work coming up. Well, there's going

Jennifer Takagi: 00:11:24

to be a little anxiety about that, but sometimes it goes over

Jennifer Takagi: 00:11:27

the edge, and then you're staying up late at night, and

Jennifer Takagi: 00:11:30

then you might be drinking trying to get to go to sleep,

Jennifer Takagi: 00:11:33

and then you're drinking too much, and then it escalates from

Jennifer Takagi: 00:11:37

there. Yeah,

Unknown: 00:11:39

yeah. That's a good point. I you know, there is such

Unknown: 00:11:41

a thing as healthy anxiety. You know, anxiety could be good, you

Unknown: 00:11:45

know, if it motivates us to, let's say, using your example,

Unknown: 00:11:49

Jennifer, you know, you have a presentation, a healthy amount

Unknown: 00:11:51

of anxiety will get you, you know, preparing for that

Unknown: 00:11:54

presentation. But if it gets to the point where you're up at

Unknown: 00:11:59

night and you're just sweating and you can't turn it off, your

Unknown: 00:12:02

thoughts are spiraling. What do you do? You know, I think when

Unknown: 00:12:06

that happens, it's important to identify what exactly it is

Unknown: 00:12:11

you're anxious about and be able to target it so that, you know,

Unknown: 00:12:15

you can make it a little bit better and function, you know,

Unknown: 00:12:18

in a healthy way. So for example, with the presentation,

Unknown: 00:12:22

you know, are you anxious because you're worried about

Unknown: 00:12:25

what other people are going to think? Are you afraid that

Unknown: 00:12:28

you're going to make a mistake? If that's the case, let's talk

Unknown: 00:12:33

about it and figure out how we can make you feel more

Unknown: 00:12:37

confident, you know, and if they're something like maybe a

Unknown: 00:12:42

past experience where you presented and it didn't go well

Unknown: 00:12:46

and you were really embarrassed, then your subconscious mind,

Unknown: 00:12:50

it's very possible, took that in and incorporated it for you as

Unknown: 00:12:55

labeling yourself as somebody who cannot present, and

Unknown: 00:12:57

therefore that is what is causing anxiety. And maybe we

Unknown: 00:13:00

then need to target that in hypnosis. Oh,

Jennifer Takagi: 00:13:04

wow. Because then in hypnosis you can

Jennifer Takagi: 00:13:06

specifically identify that pattern.

Unknown: 00:13:09

It is a quicker way of, you know, trying to get the

Unknown: 00:13:14

subconscious mind to consider different thoughts about that.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:13:19

Oh, my gosh. I love that so anxiety is just

Jennifer Takagi: 00:13:23

kind of one of the areas. What's another area where we could,

Jennifer Takagi: 00:13:26

like, take, I'm going to say, more control, be more in charge

Jennifer Takagi: 00:13:30

of our life and the outcomes

Unknown: 00:13:34

mindset too. You know, like, I think one thing that's

Unknown: 00:13:37

important for for folks to realize is that we get to choose

Unknown: 00:13:41

how we view any given situation or and also how we view

Unknown: 00:13:44

ourselves. We don't have to label ourselves in a certain

Unknown: 00:13:49

way, but we we tend to as human beings, because we compare

Unknown: 00:13:52

ourselves to other people, or we have ambitions that we haven't

Unknown: 00:13:56

yet achieved, and unfortunately, that can make it so that we

Unknown: 00:14:00

label ourselves a certain way, but we get to choose how we view

Unknown: 00:14:03

ourselves and how we view any given situation. So I you know,

Unknown: 00:14:07

practicing that mindset skill is really important.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:14:12

So if I want to practice that mindset skill, I

Jennifer Takagi: 00:14:17

love that, and I love the way you said that, like, what is

Jennifer Takagi: 00:14:20

something I could do?

Unknown: 00:14:23

Well, if we use the example of presenting, let's

Unknown: 00:14:28

say, you know, you're feeling really nervous. You're really

Unknown: 00:14:32

worried that the audience is going to laugh at you. You know,

Unknown: 00:14:38

I think one thing you can do is really question that, how

Unknown: 00:14:41

accurate is that? How likely is that to happen? Could it happen?

Unknown: 00:14:46

Sure, but is it likely, you know, I would say that yes,

Unknown: 00:14:51

there are people in the world who are mean and would laugh,

Unknown: 00:14:55

but the majority, I think, of healthy, functioning adults. Are

Unknown: 00:15:00

not like that, and chances are, they may even just be scrolling

Unknown: 00:15:03

on their phones, not paying attention. The likelihood of

Unknown: 00:15:07

people laughing at you is slim, in actuality. So where am I

Unknown: 00:15:13

going with this? It really depends on what is causing the

Unknown: 00:15:16

anxiety. So I think you could think about it and challenge

Unknown: 00:15:19

those those those thoughts. I don't know if that's still a

Unknown: 00:15:23

little too abstract, though.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:15:26

Well, one thing that Kimberly Crowe, one of the

Jennifer Takagi: 00:15:32

CO hosts and founders of palouza, likes to say is, as a

Jennifer Takagi: 00:15:38

speaker, people can be very scared to speak, right? It's

Jennifer Takagi: 00:15:42

like, Oh, I'm getting up in front of everybody. I'm putting

Jennifer Takagi: 00:15:45

my message out there. And so several things she said is,

Jennifer Takagi: 00:15:49

nobody's ever died on her stage. So when people talk about stage

Jennifer Takagi: 00:15:52

fright, nobody literally has died on her stage. But the other

Jennifer Takagi: 00:15:56

thing is, when you show up to speak at something, the majority

Jennifer Takagi: 00:16:01

of the audience is there for you to do. Well, yeah. And so when

Jennifer Takagi: 00:16:06

we make these assumptions, this is just the world, according to

Jennifer Takagi: 00:16:09

Jennifer, when we make assumptions that people are

Jennifer Takagi: 00:16:12

terrible and they're horrible and they're going to shred me,

Jennifer Takagi: 00:16:15

okay, that's because we were looking at like some influencer

Jennifer Takagi: 00:16:19

on Instagram that got shredded for something, but they're out

Jennifer Takagi: 00:16:23

there in a whole different way, like they're showing up

Jennifer Takagi: 00:16:26

differently. They're in a different space. So I think

Jennifer Takagi: 00:16:29

sometimes comparison can cause some of that. Like I watch

Jennifer Takagi: 00:16:36

somebody speak and I'm like, Oh my gosh, I want to incorporate

Jennifer Takagi: 00:16:39

that. And another speaker I might say, I don't, I don't. I

Jennifer Takagi: 00:16:45

didn't appreciate that, or I didn't think that really added

Jennifer Takagi: 00:16:48

to their speech. So I would recommend we do it differently,

Jennifer Takagi: 00:16:51

or she do it differently. He whatever. So and sometimes it's

Jennifer Takagi: 00:16:55

putting that into context. And I don't think you've said the word

Jennifer Takagi: 00:16:58

context, but maybe you have, but I think that's what you've meant

Jennifer Takagi: 00:17:01

in a lot of this. Like, what does that mean? Did it really

Jennifer Takagi: 00:17:04

happen? Is it real? And perceptions, obviously are real,

Jennifer Takagi: 00:17:08

but did you die?

Unknown: 00:17:11

Yeah, yeah, for sure. Jennifer, I didn't use the word

Unknown: 00:17:15

contact, but you you got it right. That's exactly where I

Unknown: 00:17:19

was going with that, we can choose how we view any given

Unknown: 00:17:23

situation. We don't have to think of a situation as using

Unknown: 00:17:28

the example of stage fright. We don't have to view it as if

Unknown: 00:17:33

we're going to be shredded, you know? We can instead, like you

Unknown: 00:17:37

said, view it as these people are here for me. They want to

Unknown: 00:17:40

hear what I have to say.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:17:44

Yeah, and I think that shows up this in,

Jennifer Takagi: 00:17:46

like, whatever area you know you show up in, there might be one

Jennifer Takagi: 00:17:50

person in your office that's jealous of you, and they might

Jennifer Takagi: 00:17:52

be rooting for you to trip when you take the stage, but

Jennifer Takagi: 00:17:55

everybody else is like, well, what does he or she have to say?

Jennifer Takagi: 00:17:59

And you know, are they going to do it in a way that I can

Jennifer Takagi: 00:18:01

receive the information and it's going to be good? So sometimes

Jennifer Takagi: 00:18:05

we talk ourselves into a lot of panic that doesn't need to be

Jennifer Takagi: 00:18:10

there, in my humble personal opinion. And several people on

Jennifer Takagi: 00:18:15

that I've interviewed on my podcast have talked about and

Jennifer Takagi: 00:18:21

Kimberly Crowe wrote a book on it, shifting your narrative,

Jennifer Takagi: 00:18:23

like looking at it from a different angle, changing your

Jennifer Takagi: 00:18:26

perception. Is, is journaling a good way to, like, get a handle

Jennifer Takagi: 00:18:32

on some of this. Journaling

Unknown: 00:18:35

is fantastic. Um, it's a very good way to alleviate

Unknown: 00:18:39

anxiety you get whatever is floating in your mind. You know,

Unknown: 00:18:43

it could feel so big. You know, when you have all these worries

Unknown: 00:18:46

or anxieties, getting it on paper sometimes could be a

Unknown: 00:18:49

really beneficial thing, because then, you know, you come up with

Unknown: 00:18:52

new realizations and you realize that maybe it's not as big as I

Unknown: 00:18:56

think it was. Journaling can be incredibly helpful. I highly

Unknown: 00:19:00

approve of it.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:19:02

I'm listening to an audio book. I can't

Jennifer Takagi: 00:19:04

remember what it's called right now, blah, blah, blah, blah,

Jennifer Takagi: 00:19:07

blah. It's really good, but I haven't finished it yet. But one

Jennifer Takagi: 00:19:10

of their things, and that kind of goes along with the whole

Jennifer Takagi: 00:19:13

shifting your narrative shift your perception, is, how is it

Jennifer Takagi: 00:19:17

serving me to feel this way? And if it's not serving me well,

Jennifer Takagi: 00:19:23

then am I willing to change part of it? Because sometimes we're

Jennifer Takagi: 00:19:28

not willing to let all of it go. But it's like, Okay, so what's

Jennifer Takagi: 00:19:32

what's working in this anxiety, like you said, it could fuel me

Jennifer Takagi: 00:19:36

to get my presentation done. Do it better? You know, show up

Jennifer Takagi: 00:19:40

more present, or is it like debilitating me and I can't take

Jennifer Takagi: 00:19:45

the stage like and what level

Unknown: 00:19:48

are we? Yeah, for sure. And if it's to the point of

Unknown: 00:19:52

debilitating, don't lose hope. You know, ask for help. You

Unknown: 00:19:58

know, whether that be from a loved one. It, or it be from a

Unknown: 00:20:02

therapist, an objective person you know, that can help you with

Unknown: 00:20:05

this shift in mindset. Um, it doesn't have to be so hard, you

Unknown: 00:20:10

know. It can feel really hard, and it could feel like it's not

Unknown: 00:20:12

a choice. Anxiety could be absolutely debilitating, and

Unknown: 00:20:15

maybe, maybe you don't know how to get out of feeling

Unknown: 00:20:18

differently, and it's okay. That's when it's time to lose

Unknown: 00:20:22

any kind of shame. Ask for help. It's okay. And if there is

Unknown: 00:20:26

somebody that is shredding you the pieces, and maybe your

Unknown: 00:20:28

subconscious mind is learning that, hey, I have reason to be

Unknown: 00:20:31

anxious. Well, how true is that? You know, why would we even want

Unknown: 00:20:37

to give any kind of weight to somebody that would do something

Unknown: 00:20:41

like that to someone there, Brian, your opinion isn't

Unknown: 00:20:45

important. If there's somebody that is cruel and makes fun of

Unknown: 00:20:48

you, we don't have to internalize that.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:20:51

Do I have to take that? I love it. I believe

Jennifer Takagi: 00:20:55

it's Jack Canfield. We'll say cancel, cancel. Like I don't

Jennifer Takagi: 00:20:58

even want that in my world. His is Cancel. Cancel. Somebody else

Jennifer Takagi: 00:21:03

said, I erase that like I'm just going to erase that right now.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:21:07

And they just physically move their hand back and forth like

Jennifer Takagi: 00:21:10

they're erasing a chalkboard. I'm going to erase that because

Jennifer Takagi: 00:21:13

I'm not taking that in that is not true for me. It's not right.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:21:17

When someone gives you feedback, it is a gift, and it is a gift

Jennifer Takagi: 00:21:21

you can accept and receive, or you can leave it where it is and

Jennifer Takagi: 00:21:26

not take it, because it may not be true for you. So there are

Jennifer Takagi: 00:21:29

some things I'm like that is not true for me,

Unknown: 00:21:33

and to have the confidence to know that you

Unknown: 00:21:35

really don't have to take any kind of criticism. Sometimes

Unknown: 00:21:40

criticism, if it's constructive, is incredibly helpful. If we

Unknown: 00:21:43

don't get this kind of feedback, how are we going to improve? But

Unknown: 00:21:46

it truly is something that's mean or anxiety provoking, you

Unknown: 00:21:52

really don't have to take it and taking it a step further, like,

Unknown: 00:21:56

how do you not take it? Maybe developing your confidence. Self

Unknown: 00:22:00

confidence is incredibly important with this kind of

Unknown: 00:22:03

thing.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:22:04

And I want to throw one thing out on that

Jennifer Takagi: 00:22:07

confidence business as we're as we wrap up our time together.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:22:10

It's been lovely visiting with you. Gail, thank you, and that

Jennifer Takagi: 00:22:14

is, confidence is built. And add on to this, please, confidence

Jennifer Takagi: 00:22:19

is built by recognizing the things that you did well. So a

Jennifer Takagi: 00:22:25

big deal for me. I'm the youngest of four, and people

Jennifer Takagi: 00:22:28

would say we're leaving at eight o'clock. I didn't know what

Jennifer Takagi: 00:22:30

eight o'clock was. We're leaving it in 30 minutes. I didn't know

Jennifer Takagi: 00:22:33

what 30 minutes was. So when I learned to tell time and I knew

Jennifer Takagi: 00:22:38

what eight o'clock was, I knew what 30 minutes was. I knew what

Jennifer Takagi: 00:22:41

a quarter till was, and it's not 25 minutes. Spoiler alert, it's

Jennifer Takagi: 00:22:45

15 minutes because I heard that actually happen. I can say when

Jennifer Takagi: 00:22:52

it when none of my tech works, when my client doesn't show when

Jennifer Takagi: 00:22:55

the payment doesn't come through, when all the things

Jennifer Takagi: 00:22:57

that happen as an entrepreneur happen. And I'm losing that

Jennifer Takagi: 00:23:02

confidence of I'm how I want to show up in the world. It's super

Jennifer Takagi: 00:23:07

stupid, but I say, but I know how to tell time. I can read a

Jennifer Takagi: 00:23:12

digital clock. I can read an analog clock. I can tell time.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:23:17

That's a little simple thing, but then I can build from that.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:23:20

What else can I do? Like, what else can I do? Because for all

Jennifer Takagi: 00:23:24

the audience members out there, you can do way more than you

Jennifer Takagi: 00:23:26

give yourself credit for, and it's important, all those little

Jennifer Takagi: 00:23:31

pieces are important.

Unknown: 00:23:33

Yes, I love that so much. You can tell time. That's

Unknown: 00:23:36

so empowering,

Jennifer Takagi: 00:23:39

the big deal for me. So as we wrap it up,

Jennifer Takagi: 00:23:41

what's, what's some closing thoughts for our audience?

Unknown: 00:23:45

Yeah, I'd say, if there's any kind of takeaway I

Unknown: 00:23:49

want people to have, it's, don't give up hope. If you're feeling

Unknown: 00:23:54

down, you know, if you're feeling like things are really

Unknown: 00:23:57

hard and anxiety is getting in your way and like you really

Unknown: 00:24:01

don't have a handle on it, please. You know there, there is

Unknown: 00:24:06

out there. Don't feel any kind of shame. We're all human. We

Unknown: 00:24:09

all have things we need to work on, and know that there is hope.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:24:17

I love that. Thank you, Gail, yeah,

Unknown: 00:24:19

thank you, Jennifer.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:24:22

I'm Jennifer Takagi with destin for success,

Jennifer Takagi: 00:24:24

and I look forward to connecting with you soon. You.