Leadership Keys for the Hybrid/Remote Workplace OR Catapulting Your Career from the Inside Out OR Burnout Be Gone! Keys to Avoid, Identify and Address | DFS 297

Jennifer Takagi: 00:00:02

Welcome to destined for success. I'm your

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host Jennifer Takagi and today's one of my favorite days is PATA

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Palooza Day. And we have another amazing guest, Dr. Laura. Dr.

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Laura, thank you for joining us and tell me how you show up in

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the world.

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Dr. Laura Hambley Lovett: Well, it's lovely to be here,

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Jennifer, I just love your energy. I think it's really

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contagious. How I show up in the world. Well, I like to bring my

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true self. I like to be authentic in what I do. But I

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also love to bring my expertise as an organizational

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psychologist, researcher, business leader, speaker, and

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podcaster. As well, as an author, I'd say the thing I

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bring is I'm a serial entrepreneur, I can never just

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sit still doing any one thing.

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I love that. So

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Dr. Laura Hambley Lovett: what is your main focus these days,

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and that was an organizational West, organizational

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psychologist, psychologist. Wow. So it's a field of psychology

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specialized in making organizations and workplaces

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better for human beings. That

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is so needed. I love that a lot. So what's your

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like? Where are you focused right now? Because I love that

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you've got multiple things going on and, and your fingers in, but

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like what's your favorite thing?

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Dr. Laura Hambley Lovett: My top three favorite things right now.

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Number one, my research study and upcoming book on toxic

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bosses. I think you

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me on that one. Yeah, that's what

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Dr. Laura Hambley Lovett: everyone says, I've worked for one of

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those or my loved one works for one of those. And it says it's a

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huge catastrophic problem in the world. So I'm super excited to

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use my voice, use my skills, etc, to understand at a granular

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level, how these horrific bosses work and do their damage on

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people, and then how to eradicate it. From an individual

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level and an organizational level.

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I want to say I had a very horrible situation

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going on. So I did what you should do, and anybody listening

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who has a toxic boss, if you're an organization that has an

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employee assistance program, you need to reach out to them and go

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talk to somebody. And so I did. And as I'm talking to this

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psychologist, she said, your biggest problem is you share too

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much information that she uses against you. And I was like,

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what? And she goes, if she asks you for three things on a

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report, give her three things. And I said, but I know she needs

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10. She goes give her three. If she wants to come back for the

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other seven, that's fine, but you did what she asked. You're

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being too accommodating. And then she's turning it on you.

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And I'm like, wow, my life changed instantly. Wow. Okay, my

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boss was not normal. Like, there was there was a button missing

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somewhere. And so evilness was like her default. So once I just

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started sharing the bare minimum, she didn't have

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anything to attack on so

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Dr. Laura Hambley Lovett: and you stayed? How long did you

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stay?

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Well, it was a total of eight years, but I was

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with the federal government. And if I left I would lose all my

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retirement and I'd been there too many years for one evil

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person to run me out. And and so I did, I left as soon as I could

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and have benefits because that was important to me. Yes, I

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could have left earlier. But I wanted the benefits that I had

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earned. And it all worked out perfectly well in the end. But

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that that guidance on how to handle it was just critical to

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my emotional well being it was so important. So I love that

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you're a psychologist that I love that you're looking into

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this. And you're probably going to give a whole lot more

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suggestions on how to how to deal with that. So I love that.

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So you got your research going on for your book, toxic bosses

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coming out soon. Love that one. I

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Dr. Laura Hambley Lovett: want to speak a lot. I'm a speaker as

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well. I want to speak a lot on that topic. I speak on other

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topics right now that I'm passionate about as well. So I'd

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say speaking is number two. I just love being on stages. I

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like virtual events too. But my favorite are when I can be on a

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stage with an audience and sharing you know different

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topics like preventing burnout or how to rock remote

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leadership. So how you be an exceptional leader when your

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team is is dispersed from you. That's another my topics. I just

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yeah catapulting your career to the next level. So I've done a

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lot of career development work, and I can speak you know, to the

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moon and back on that

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Well in. There are a few people who woke up

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when they were a little kid and said, I want to be an

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entrepreneur, I'm never going to work for anybody. But the

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majority of us, even if like I was, I mean, some would say

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later in life, became an entrepreneur. But that's not

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what I did for a lot of years. So the work that you do is like,

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critical for people to be able to, to navigate life and

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Dr. Laura Hambley Lovett: in a happy way. Exactly. And just

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seeing someone go from feeling a lack of hope, and a lot of fear

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about what's next to having a well crafted, insightful plan

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about themselves is just amazing. And then when I hear

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from them years later, that that for 15 years, so you hear from

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people you helped a decade ago,

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and it sticks like it totally sticks, I

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figured out very quickly that people that you need to quit

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using words with stupid example. I had just flown home and I had

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a luggage and the handle does not go down easily. You can't

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force it. You just have to pull it out, hold your mouth, right

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and try again. And about the fourth time, it just drops down.

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It's fine. But if you've watched so I'm getting on the shuttle

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bus to my car, and like and I said, Oh, give me just a second.

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I have to get this handle down. He goes, I can do it. Let just

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let me do it. I do this all day long. And I said, I know you do.

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But I know I can. It will go down just handed to me. I will

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do it. No, no, because I'm thinking you're gonna break it.

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I know you are. So finally I dropped it down. I handed in my

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bag, I get on the shuttle bus. And he goes, You know, I do this

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every day. And I said, you know, I know you're right. And I'm

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totally wrong. I'm sorry. He was like it was like I'm talking to

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fight with the bus driver, but I also wasn't gonna let him break

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my suitcase.

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Dr. Laura Hambley Lovett: I know exactly. Oh, that's funny.

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We all went, we all went okay. Research a

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speaker on amazing topics. What's your third best favorite

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thing?

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Dr. Laura Hambley Lovett: Um, so I wrote two psychological

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thrillers. So the first one is called losing Katims. And it

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took me eight years to write because I was between having

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getting my PhD done having three kids like starting my own

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business, there's a lot of distractions. So I would write,

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and then I'd stop, and then I'd write and stop, which is a

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really inefficient way to write a novel, by the way. But the

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idea just came to me the idea just it was like, I was

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entertaining myself. And it's about a billionaire abducting

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his high school sweetheart. 10 years later, it's been described

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as gone, Girl Meets sleeping with the enemy. So lots of

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twists and turns and edge of your seat. And then people loved

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it. So I wrote the SQL. And the sequel took me 18 months. And

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both of them have been out since I think 2016. So it's been a

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while 2017. But the exciting part is when I wrote them, I saw

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them on film, I said, this has got to be on film. So then a

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film producer came into my life. Conroy counter who's amazing. So

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we are getting it ready to pitch for a series. So it's not going

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to be a feature film, it would be a series of Yeah, so that's

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our second book called findings, or sorry. So losing cadence and

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finding Sophie. And the interesting thing is, it's all

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about, you know, it's possession of women. And, you know, the

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violent side of it, like controlling and possessing. And

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so Connery actually produced a film called trafficked with

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Ashley Judd in it. And traffic is all about the 100 and $50

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billion industry of sex trafficking. And so I got really

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involved in that, like that movement of how do we create

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awareness? And how do we put a stop to that heinous industry?

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Now I'm like, on this movement of ending violence against women

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and girls, and yeah, so that's my third passion.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:09:18

Oh, my gosh, well, I'll be sharing this book

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with are your books with all my friends, because we're all avid

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readers and thrillers are super fun. So yeah, that's a whole new

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side of me. But yes, that awesome. I love that. So if

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we're your my audience, I believe I have lots of

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entrepreneurs. I have some people who work in corporate and

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other industries. But what are some keys to success that you

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might want to share that we could? Maybe we're aware of that

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we can embrace a little bit more and have a little bit more of

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that peace of mind and joy and the goodness in the world?

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Dr. Laura Hambley Lovett: I think doing a gratitude practice

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every day. So that's how I start my day is with meditation and

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journal. So gratitude, even three things you're grateful

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for, because the ride as an entrepreneur is really bumpy at

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times. And there's some times when you're living in fear,

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right? There's all this, oh, my goodness, am I gonna get enough

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business in to keep this going? Or will I have to get an actual

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full time job again, and they don't really want to because I

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love being an entrepreneur. And I've been so 15 years of owning

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my own business, but I also have had like three more businesses

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during that time, I'd say, yeah, there's some days that are

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really tough. So gratitude, number one. Number two is

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surrounding yourself with the right people, surrounding

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yourself with people who can help you who complement your

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weak spots. Like me, not good with numbers don't I don't

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remember numbers. I don't like numbers. But I have a heck of an

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accountant, a great bookkeeper. And I've learned like how to

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relate to my numbers and my financials so much better, but I

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still need them. I need people around me I need an assistant to

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help keep me organized. And I'm a thinker. I'm an ideas person.

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I love being on stages, but the day to day details. And

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and there are people who love that they

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absolutely love it. Yeah.

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Dr. Laura Hambley Lovett: And my EAA, she loves it. And she's

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just great at keeping all the balls in the air, the moving

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parts of they call me hurricane Hambly. Sometimes, because I

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have so many different things going on at once. Charity

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events, businesses, new ideas, three kids, like the film thing

Jennifer Takagi: 00:11:43

that's going I mean, whatever it is, it's like a hurricane

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sometimes, so that you need to calm the hurricane.

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I love that. I love that.

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Dr. Laura Hambley Lovett: I know. And it's like kind of

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embarrassing, but it's true hurricane Hambly. And then the

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third, oh, gosh, there are so many. But I would say keep your

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own gas mask on first. So really, the self care is super

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important. So if you're not getting enough sleep, if you're

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trying to burn the midnight oil on your business, and you're not

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getting enough sleep, you're not going to be as good at your

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business when your brain is not nourished with sleep, and good

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food, exercise and fresh air. All those things that it's like,

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yeah, yeah, we know that. But a lot of people know that and they

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don't do it. So I think we need to nourish ourselves first. So

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we can be put our best foot forward as a leader and an

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entrepreneur.

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I when I went to college, I had three goals.

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And one of them was never made below a 3.0. Because it can be

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so hard to bring that grade point average up. And I had a

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job and I dated and I had things going on. So 4.0 Never was on my

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radar because I didn't really care but above 3.0 mattered a

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lot. And pretty much my entire college career. I was in bed at

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10 o'clock at night. And I didn't really care what's going

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on around me I was in bed at 10 o'clock, because the sleep was

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more important than studying to me. I went to all my classes, I

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never skipped classes. So you can retain and remember this

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stuff if you go to class and participate. But then you've got

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to have that sleep. And people minimize that, oh, I only need

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three hours. That's a bunch of crap. And that's why you're

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cranky. And you say that you don't need sleep you do and

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you're cranky. And I wish she'd quit. So I love those three,

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they're great. So how are we going to get a hold of you if we

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want to learn more? If we want to find out when the film's come

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out, like all the cool things for you

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Dr. Laura Hambley Lovett: in a long journey, so knock on wood

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Fingers crossed.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:13:49

We'll do all the things and all the vibes.

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Dr. Laura Hambley Lovett: Thank you. So it's Dr. Laura dot live

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li ve Dr. Laura all as one word dot live. So that's my website

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and my podcast is on there, as well as on all the podcast

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platforms, I write a lot of articles and good tips and

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tricks and tools and resources. And then I'm on the social media

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channels, as well

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as Dr. Laura and your podcasts, what's it

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called?

Jennifer Takagi: 00:14:19

Dr. Laura Hambley Lovett: Where work meets life, who it's into,

Jennifer Takagi: 00:14:23

it's, it's almost done season four, and I'm getting close to

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100 episodes. So that's exciting. It's been a labor of

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love. But I've gotten some real heavy hitting amazing guests on

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there that I've learned from every single episode I learned

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from and then I end up getting a whack of books you can see

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behind me like yeah, there's like a lot of them have books

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and then I ended up reading and learning a lot.

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And then incorporating that. Well. This

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has been amazing. I've loved our conversation and at the break

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I'm gonna have to go get your books because that's like right

Jennifer Takagi: 00:14:58

up my alley. So

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Dr. Laura Hambley Lovett: yeah, it means so much to me. Thank

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you as the psychological thrillers. I mean, I have

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business books too. But my new business books going to be

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around toxic bosses. So I'm excited about that. Yes.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:15:12

Because do you do the research on them? Reach

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out to me if you want some real life stories, the gratitude

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practice is critical. We can find something to be grateful

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for. And I find the most people I'm around that are the

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crankiest and have the most negative things to say. I'm

Jennifer Takagi: 00:15:30

going to bet you 100 bucks, and I'm not even a betting person.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:15:32

They don't have a gratitude journal. They don't take time to

Jennifer Takagi: 00:15:35

be grateful for all the amazing things in their life. Surround

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yourself with the right people. I I've had some younger women

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younger than me recently say oh, you know, it's not a fit with my

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husband. I'm on this journey and I'm growing and he's not and he

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doesn't get it and my position is it's okay that my husband

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doesn't get it I surround myself with other people who do so it's

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you know, one person can't be your everything because there's

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a lot you need a VA you need the assistant who's gonna like put

Jennifer Takagi: 00:16:06

all your stuff together, CPA Yes, I have one too. And put

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your own you said gas mask. I love that put your whole gas

Jennifer Takagi: 00:16:14

mask on first. Usually it's your oxygen mask and

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Dr. Laura Hambley Lovett: oxygen masks so

Jennifer Takagi: 00:16:20

totally. Totally fit. Dr.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:16:24

Dr. Laura Hambley Lovett: Laura for you though. Like my grandpa

Jennifer Takagi: 00:16:26

were a gas mask in World War One like that's how they survived.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:16:32

Yeah.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:16:35

Yeah. And there are a lot of toxic things out

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there. So yeah, no, I loved it.

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Dr. Laura Hambley Lovett: Toxic leaders who are harming people's

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well being and mental health and we got to eradicate that BS.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:16:46

That is so true. I loved our time together.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:16:50

I can't wait to connect with you again in the future

Jennifer Takagi: 00:16:53

Dr. Laura Hambley Lovett: for you to not miss day. Thank you

Jennifer Takagi: 00:16:55

so much. You're doing great things for the world. A lot of

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people are destined for success if they get out of their own

Jennifer Takagi: 00:17:02

way.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:17:03

So true. For our audience, I'm Jennifer

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Takagi with destined for success and I look forward to connecting

Jennifer Takagi: 00:17:11

with you soon. Okay, thanks.