Katja Lany Shares How Success is not happening here - in your head! | DFS 303

Jennifer Takagi: 00:00:00

Good. Welcome to destined for success. I'm

Jennifer Takagi: 00:00:04

your host Jennifer Takagi and today is PATA Palooza Day. I

Jennifer Takagi: 00:00:08

love this day and I love all the people I get to meet, that I

Jennifer Takagi: 00:00:12

wouldn't necessarily run across with, and you get the benefit of

Jennifer Takagi: 00:00:17

the messages. Our next guest is Katya Lainey. And she has to us

Jennifer Takagi: 00:00:22

via Germany from Colorado. Katya, tell us a little bit

Jennifer Takagi: 00:00:26

about yourself and how you show up in the world?

Katja Lany: 00:00:30

Well, first of all, Jennifer, I'm so happy to be

Katja Lany: 00:00:34

here with you and the listeners today. So thank you for your

Katja Lany: 00:00:39

warm welcome and destined for success. Yeah, that's definitely

Katja Lany: 00:00:46

a title that sparked my interest. And from my

Katja Lany: 00:00:50

perspective, I would say, success is not happening here.

Katja Lany: 00:00:58

Because I have found on my own healing journey, that it's the

Katja Lany: 00:01:06

figuring out mode, the mentor, figuring out man, that kept me

Katja Lany: 00:01:13

so stuck. And I am so so grateful for the mentors I've

Katja Lany: 00:01:20

worked with for facilitating to me that shift from the mind into

Katja Lany: 00:01:28

the body into my heart and warm because that's really where the

Katja Lany: 00:01:34

magic lies. And now that I am talking to people that work with

Katja Lany: 00:01:41

me, I am speaking of the shift from mentor figuring out mode to

Katja Lany: 00:01:51

tracking mode. And it really is all about staying with that

Katja Lany: 00:01:59

tracking what's going on in my body and really being very

Katja Lany: 00:02:06

curious, whatever comes up, as I'm tuning within and right

Katja Lany: 00:02:16

there, it's really crucial to have somebody who holds you

Katja Lany: 00:02:23

accountable to not give up too soon. Because, as I have noticed

Katja Lany: 00:02:29

myself, when when when I did it for the first time, there wasn't

Katja Lany: 00:02:34

really a thing coming up, there was just a big numbness. But

Katja Lany: 00:02:40

then when I had that stick with it knits. What eventually

Katja Lany: 00:02:48

happened for me was that I had this felt sense of the first

Katja Lany: 00:02:55

emotion. And when I stick with it longer, I could tune in to

Katja Lany: 00:03:02

that emotion whenever I wanted it. And then that one emotion

Katja Lany: 00:03:09

was joined by many emotions by all emotions. And then after

Katja Lany: 00:03:15

even more time, I eventually got to that place where I could not

Katja Lany: 00:03:20

only have that felt sense of my own emotions, but also I could

Katja Lany: 00:03:27

feel other people's emotions in my body, even before they could

Katja Lany: 00:03:33

feel it. And there's so

Jennifer Takagi: 00:03:36

I love this a lot, because I often talk about

Jennifer Takagi: 00:03:39

how you have to be still. And like hearing God, you have to be

Jennifer Takagi: 00:03:44

still to hear your inner voice, you have to be still. So I'm

Jennifer Takagi: 00:03:48

loving this whole train of thought. But when you say, I

Jennifer Takagi: 00:03:53

can't remember how you put it now, I sat with it. And then I

Jennifer Takagi: 00:03:57

had this emotion. What did that mean? Like? Are you just being

Jennifer Takagi: 00:04:01

still are you meditating? Are you working with somebody and

Jennifer Takagi: 00:04:04

they're guiding you like, what what does that mean?

Katja Lany: 00:04:09

What I mean was that is just having that intention to

Katja Lany: 00:04:16

notice whatever is coming up when I'm attuning within. And

Katja Lany: 00:04:24

that is in such big contrast to what I used to do this mentally

Katja Lany: 00:04:32

figuring out and shifting that to tracking in your body in your

Katja Lany: 00:04:41

viscera, what's, what's there and just sticking with it. And

Katja Lany: 00:04:48

keep asking that question. What does my body want to communicate

Katja Lany: 00:04:55

to me? And

Jennifer Takagi: 00:04:57

so when you do this, and you're asking those

Jennifer Takagi: 00:05:00

those really great questions. Are you sitting still? Is this

Jennifer Takagi: 00:05:04

something you do just walking down the street? Is it just like

Jennifer Takagi: 00:05:08

second nature for you now? That's what I'm hoping to

Jennifer Takagi: 00:05:14

embrace and figure it out for myself. Yeah.

Katja Lany: 00:05:19

I would call that meditation. Okay, for me, that

Katja Lany: 00:05:25

means Yeah. sitting, sitting still, and having that intention

Katja Lany: 00:05:32

to find out what the body wants to have me no.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:05:40

I love that. And again, we often don't sit

Jennifer Takagi: 00:05:44

still, we often are in a constant state of movement,

Jennifer Takagi: 00:05:49

whether we're physically moved me moving or mentally moving, we

Jennifer Takagi: 00:05:52

just are constantly go go. And I, I've had some knee issues

Jennifer Takagi: 00:05:58

lately. And I was very disappointed because I had been

Jennifer Takagi: 00:06:02

working out my knees had been better than they had been. And

Jennifer Takagi: 00:06:04

then like, the gig was up, it was like done. And somebody

Jennifer Takagi: 00:06:09

goes, well, how much have you been traveling? It I was like,

Jennifer Takagi: 00:06:14

well, that shouldn't matter. And, like, in November alone, I

Jennifer Takagi: 00:06:18

went on four different turnips. And so like, when you're gone

Jennifer Takagi: 00:06:22

that much, and you're not taking care of your body, then it not

Jennifer Takagi: 00:06:28

tuning in, it's gonna scream back. And one way or the other

Jennifer Takagi: 00:06:31

is gonna stand up and yell, yeah, yeah,

Katja Lany: 00:06:35

that's a minor thing that I wanted to comment to.

Katja Lany: 00:06:41

When people are in their head space, it's just so noisy there

Katja Lany: 00:06:49

is this mental chatter going on that is just so loud. And that's

Katja Lany: 00:06:56

overriding that voice of intuition that I want people to

Katja Lany: 00:07:04

gain access to end. I would describe it in in a way that I

Katja Lany: 00:07:14

was in this second guessing stage that is, so no matter when

Katja Lany: 00:07:24

I'm coming from that mind space, right? I try to make a decision

Katja Lany: 00:07:34

I try to figure out and next step, and I immediately second

Katja Lany: 00:07:42

guess what my mind is coming up with. And that's so frustrating,

Katja Lany: 00:07:48

and it just drives people crazy. It should drive me crazy. But

Katja Lany: 00:07:55

when I can drop from there into my body, and listen to that

Katja Lany: 00:08:03

intuitive knowing that is always there, but sometimes not really

Katja Lany: 00:08:10

accessible to you to the mental noise, then I am really guided

Katja Lany: 00:08:17

to what is the best next step for me, what is the best

Katja Lany: 00:08:22

decision and this second guessing isn't even an issue?

Jennifer Takagi: 00:08:30

I love that there's a meditation I was

Jennifer Takagi: 00:08:33

guided to a number of years ago. And one of the things he says

Jennifer Takagi: 00:08:37

is, just throughout the day, ask yourself, what is the next best

Jennifer Takagi: 00:08:42

step I can take? And like that curiosity and asking. So when

Jennifer Takagi: 00:08:48

you I get caught up on time sometimes. And some people do

Jennifer Takagi: 00:08:55

meditations in there for a very long period of time, like, a

Jennifer Takagi: 00:08:59

long time. And then there are other people that do short

Jennifer Takagi: 00:09:04

meditations. And so is there a shortcut? Or does it have to

Jennifer Takagi: 00:09:11

take a long time? Or is it just being so incredibly present in

Jennifer Takagi: 00:09:15

that moment that you feel it and no, it? Is it just practice? I

Jennifer Takagi: 00:09:20

don't know if I'm asking the question, right. But maybe you

Jennifer Takagi: 00:09:22

get locked out ski. Yeah.

Katja Lany: 00:09:26

It's it's certainly true with meditation as it is

Katja Lany: 00:09:31

with so many things that practice makes you better at

Katja Lany: 00:09:38

what you're trying to get at. Yeah. So of course, when you

Katja Lany: 00:09:46

just died out meditating that way, then it might take a little

Katja Lany: 00:09:53

bit longer, but you can surely get to a point place with just a

Katja Lany: 00:10:02

few breaths out already enough to hear that intuitive wisdom

Katja Lany: 00:10:11

that we are aiming for. And I often say, when somebody is in a

Katja Lany: 00:10:20

state of freak out, it's totally possible to calm down with just

Katja Lany: 00:10:30

a handful of breast. And the difference is that in our

Katja Lany: 00:10:36

everyday life, we are used to breathing unconsciously. But

Katja Lany: 00:10:44

it's important to shift that unconscious breathing, to

Katja Lany: 00:10:49

breathing with intention to breathe consciously. And that's

Katja Lany: 00:10:55

that's where the magic lies.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:10:59

It is so important because we ended up

Jennifer Takagi: 00:11:01

holding our breath. Years ago, I was trying to quit smoking. And

Jennifer Takagi: 00:11:07

in one of the books that I was reading on, you know, God has to

Jennifer Takagi: 00:11:11

quit. I've since quit, I quit in March of 2007, I think it was.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:11:17

But one of the things was when you smoke, you take a drag off a

Jennifer Takagi: 00:11:21

cigarette, and then you like suck it in a little deeper and

Jennifer Takagi: 00:11:24

before you exhale. And so one of the problems is you quit

Jennifer Takagi: 00:11:28

smoking, and you don't know how to take in a good deep breath.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:11:32

And hold it for a second without the cigarette like because you

Jennifer Takagi: 00:11:36

think that's the only way to do it. But we can obviously do it

Jennifer Takagi: 00:11:39

with that. Do you have some tips on breathing? Because breathing?

Jennifer Takagi: 00:11:44

I'm obviously the breath of life. If you don't breathe,

Jennifer Takagi: 00:11:47

you're dead. Right? So their options? Choice. So do you have

Jennifer Takagi: 00:11:52

any suggestions on breathing and breathing mindfully? I guess?

Jennifer Takagi: 00:11:56

Yeah,

Katja Lany: 00:11:56

it's so funny. You should think that breathing is

Katja Lany: 00:12:00

something that is easy, right? But it happens so often that we

Katja Lany: 00:12:07

unlearn the natural way to breathe. So my tip would be just

Katja Lany: 00:12:14

watch little baby, they are experts at breathing the right

Katja Lany: 00:12:20

way. And when you when you are together with a little one, you

Katja Lany: 00:12:25

can see how they're so in their lower belly, and you can watch

Katja Lany: 00:12:31

them have their belly rise on the inhale, and then fall on the

Katja Lany: 00:12:39

exhale again. And when people are very stressed and not

Katja Lany: 00:12:44

breathing in their lower belly, they're breathing way up higher

Katja Lany: 00:12:48

in their body. And it can look like this.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:12:54

I love that. So people who are on the the audio

Jennifer Takagi: 00:12:58

version of this that she inhaled her, her shoulders rose up to

Jennifer Takagi: 00:13:01

her ears, it was like up and down, up and down, up and down

Jennifer Takagi: 00:13:04

with the shoulders. And I resonate with this. I've been in

Jennifer Takagi: 00:13:08

physical therapy and it's for my knee. But I was there when I was

Jennifer Takagi: 00:13:12

like, Hey, can you help me with this shoulder? It's just really

Jennifer Takagi: 00:13:14

tight. I don't know what I did. But all of a sudden, I don't

Jennifer Takagi: 00:13:16

have the mobility in this shoulder. As she said yes. And

Jennifer Takagi: 00:13:21

she's kind of moving my shoulder around. And she found like a

Jennifer Takagi: 00:13:24

sore spot. And I was like, there she is you need to bring

Jennifer Takagi: 00:13:29

Jennifer, I can't stretch this out. If you didn't bring it. I

Jennifer Takagi: 00:13:31

was like maybe you should quit that. And then I'll try to

Jennifer Takagi: 00:13:34

breathe. But it's really hard when you're when something

Jennifer Takagi: 00:13:38

hurts. We naturally hold our breath and tense up right when

Jennifer Takagi: 00:13:43

what we should do is take a really deep breath and what do

Jennifer Takagi: 00:13:47

they say breathe through it.

Katja Lany: 00:13:50

Yeah, yeah. And those stressful experiences that

Katja Lany: 00:13:58

we have been going through in our lifetime they are held in

Katja Lany: 00:14:06

the body. So the wrong thing to do is really what I used to

Katja Lany: 00:14:14

think was the right thing is to put more information into my

Katja Lany: 00:14:21

mind. I was always thinking, Oh, I just need to take that one

Katja Lany: 00:14:25

more course. I just need to read that one more book, but it's not

Katja Lany: 00:14:30

about adding more information to the head. It's about subs

Katja Lany: 00:14:38

tracting the stresses the trauma out of the body. And that is a

Katja Lany: 00:14:45

big insight that it's not about adding more information. It's

Katja Lany: 00:14:51

about pulling out the trauma from your nervous system from

Katja Lany: 00:14:57

your physicality.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:15:02

And so is that what you do when you work with

Jennifer Takagi: 00:15:05

clients? Do you help release that you remove that? Tell us a

Jennifer Takagi: 00:15:08

little bit about that? Yeah,

Katja Lany: 00:15:10

I am working as a would be energy healer. And I

Katja Lany: 00:15:16

have found that not all the people are familiar with that

Katja Lany: 00:15:20

term, it's just a French way of saying, joy of life. And that

Katja Lany: 00:15:27

makes so much sense. Because when somebody is in this pattern

Katja Lany: 00:15:34

of wanting to figure things out mentally, and self sabotaging

Katja Lany: 00:15:42

them, that sucks the joy of live right out of you. And it really

Katja Lany: 00:15:51

is important to shift that pattern that default, to a place

Katja Lany: 00:16:01

where I am more curious about what's going on inside of my

Katja Lany: 00:16:08

body and being with whatever is coming to the surface there. And

Katja Lany: 00:16:15

then feeling everything that's bubbling up fully and

Katja Lany: 00:16:22

completely. And I have become such a big advocate of feeling

Katja Lany: 00:16:29

all the fears, because that's really what they want, they want

Katja Lany: 00:16:35

to be felt completely. And when somebody is describing this

Katja Lany: 00:16:43

challenge with being stuck or trapped, somehow, that is what

Katja Lany: 00:16:50

that is all about. It's feelings that are trapped in in the body,

Katja Lany: 00:16:57

and they want to be felt fully and completely. And there's

Katja Lany: 00:17:02

really no way around that. And if somebody says, I'm just too

Katja Lany: 00:17:10

scared to commit to that, and it's basically only a

Katja Lany: 00:17:17

postponing, but as I said, There's no way around it, if you

Katja Lany: 00:17:23

want to get unstuck, then this is what it is really about to

Katja Lany: 00:17:28

really have that felt sense of any and all emotions, whether

Katja Lany: 00:17:35

that is fear, or sadness, or anger really go into that felt

Katja Lany: 00:17:42

sense of the emotion. And once they are felt completely, that's

Katja Lany: 00:17:49

when they are really integrated. And you can have that

Katja Lany: 00:17:53

breakthrough that you are so yearning for.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:17:58

Oh my gosh, I love this and the work I do.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:18:01

Because I do energy healing work also. And through the work and

Jennifer Takagi: 00:18:08

the in the studies, they're showing that a trapped emotion

Jennifer Takagi: 00:18:12

such as fear, or terror, or abandonment is roughly the size

Jennifer Takagi: 00:18:17

of a fist. And so if you've got multiple trapped emotions, which

Jennifer Takagi: 00:18:22

we most do, because it's live, right? If you have all these

Jennifer Takagi: 00:18:29

trapped emotions and size of a fist throughout your system,

Jennifer Takagi: 00:18:32

then oxygen isn't gonna flow well, blood isn't gonna flow

Jennifer Takagi: 00:18:36

well. Toxins aren't going to flow out well. And that's when

Jennifer Takagi: 00:18:40

you end up.

Katja Lany: 00:18:42

Really talk those fists out of your body, you

Katja Lany: 00:18:47

really need to fear the emotion and it is certainly doable, I

Katja Lany: 00:18:55

have done it. So anybody can do it.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:18:58

Right? Right, that we you know, we don't even

Jennifer Takagi: 00:19:01

we're not even aware, right? We're not aware. So that goes

Jennifer Takagi: 00:19:04

back to as we're getting closer our time. That goes back to the

Jennifer Takagi: 00:19:09

idea of meditating or being quiet, however, that looks for

Jennifer Takagi: 00:19:15

you. So that you can be quiet and start noticing what's going

Jennifer Takagi: 00:19:21

on in your body. And then breathing so that you can get

Jennifer Takagi: 00:19:27

the right oxygen and breathe, breathe like a baby, get those

Jennifer Takagi: 00:19:30

belly breaths. I had a coach Cheryl and she would always say,

Jennifer Takagi: 00:19:35

I want to see a belly breath. I want your belly to rise and then

Jennifer Takagi: 00:19:38

fall. So that's that baby breath there. And then that last part

Jennifer Takagi: 00:19:44

is really just feeling the feelings as they come up. So if

Jennifer Takagi: 00:19:49

someone wants to work with you, what does that look like? And I

Jennifer Takagi: 00:19:53

think you have a free gift for our audience. So what do you got

Jennifer Takagi: 00:19:57

for us? Gotcha.

Katja Lany: 00:19:58

I do have a a free gift. And it's a PDF called

Katja Lany: 00:20:03

three tips for safety and security. Because I have noticed

Katja Lany: 00:20:09

that without the sense of safety, you can't even begin

Katja Lany: 00:20:15

doing shadow work like this, you need to have that sense of

Katja Lany: 00:20:21

safety first. So that's why I'm offering that as a free gift to

Katja Lany: 00:20:28

people to to get those those tips, and it is through the body

Katja Lany: 00:20:38

through the breathing, that the sense of safety is created best.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:20:46

Oh my gosh, I love that. So those of you who

Jennifer Takagi: 00:20:49

are on your phone listening to this podcast episode, it'll be

Jennifer Takagi: 00:20:54

in the show notes. So you just have to scroll down a little bit

Jennifer Takagi: 00:20:56

and click the show notes. Grab the link and get this PDF three

Jennifer Takagi: 00:21:00

tips for safety and security. That is awesome. So let's do

Jennifer Takagi: 00:21:05

that. Is that the best way to get in contact with you? Or do

Jennifer Takagi: 00:21:08

you have a website or someplace else that you would like them to

Jennifer Takagi: 00:21:12

connect with you?

Katja Lany: 00:21:14

I usually connect with people via email and that's

Katja Lany: 00:21:19

very easy. It's my name katia.learned@gmail.com Or I can

Katja Lany: 00:21:25

also be very easily found on Facebook so people can reach out

Katja Lany: 00:21:30

to me there via Facebook Messenger. All right,

Jennifer Takagi: 00:21:34

and that's Katya KT, ja, Lani, LA and why

Jennifer Takagi: 00:21:39

is it Laney aslani@gmail.com or on Facebook. Gotcha. This has

Jennifer Takagi: 00:21:46

been so great. We were trying for the last couple hours to

Jennifer Takagi: 00:21:48

make sure we were going to be able to connect and I'm so happy

Jennifer Takagi: 00:21:51

that we did. Thank you for your insights.

Katja Lany: 00:21:57

Thank you Sandra. Thank you. Oh

Jennifer Takagi: 00:22:02

I'm Jennifer Takagi with destined for

Jennifer Takagi: 00:22:03

success. I look forward to connecting with you soon.