Design your life: it doesn’t have to just happen | DFS 310

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Jennifer, welcome to Destin for success.

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I'm your host. Jennifer Takagi, and today I want to talk about

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designing your life. It doesn't just have to happen. You have

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more control than you think you did. Okay, so there I said it

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like you really do you have more control than you think you do?

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Let's go back in time. Let's go way back in time. What is your

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story on how your life will go? What's that story in your head

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that you've had forever? I have someone in my life who always

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says and started this when I was like 1112, years old, life's a

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bitch, and then you die. Well, that's not very positive and

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optimistic. I don't know that I want to embrace that train of

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thought. What if we flip that around? Life's an adventure with

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something magical at every turn that feels a little bit better

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about me. But what is your story? I ended up following my

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dad into housing. Someone said, Well, that makes perfect sense.

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Well, it didn't make sense to me at all. I have a degree in

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French and Spanish, working for the federal government in

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housing, providing safeties and sanitary housing to low income

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families was never on my radar, never. But when I graduated with

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my magical degree in French and Spanish and no, I don't speak

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them fluently anymore. It's been too many years, but when I

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graduated, I had a vision that somebody would care that it

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would matter, and I would get a job, and I would use my

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languages, and I would get better and more fluent all the

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time. But when I graduated, we were in a pretty big recession,

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and things were kind of bad, and just any job was a job, and it

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was a good job. And back then we still, oh, wait, we probably

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still are, but we were definitely in an era of women

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needed to be in clerical positions versus, like

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journeymen, doing real kind of work. Every position is

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necessary, but it makes a difference on what the mindset

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is on where you think you can go versus where the organization

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thinks you can go. But what's your story? I was a little

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disappointed, because, given the time, it worked out the way it

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did, but I also had a story that I would have to work the rest of

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my life. That's actually why I went to college, because I knew

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I would have a full time job the rest of my life. And to me, that

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didn't sound fun. I didn't really want to do that. I wanted

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to put it off as long as possible. So given the

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opportunity to go to college, I did it. I jumped on it. That was

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great. I was very happy I made that choice. What's your story?

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Is your story? You have to stay there no matter what. I see a

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lot of people quite a bit younger than me in some of these

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other generations, and they hop jobs left and right. They don't

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think anything about going from one company to the next in less

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than a year. When I was coming up, the story was you had to

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have a job for three to five years at least before you left,

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or you were considered a Job Hopper and not committed, not

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loyal. I don't think that's the case anymore, and part of the

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reason that's not the case is I don't know that organizations

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are as loyal to their employees as they were back in the day,

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however long ago, back in the day was for you. So what is your

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story about your life? Do you have a picture that you work

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full time and your kids are in daycare and happy and healthy

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and you get whatever help you need? Or do you want to stay

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home with your kids and get a job where you can work from

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home, which is more possible now than ever, like. What is it?

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Have you ever even stopped to think about what you want your

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life to look like? I have to say, I'm jealous of some of the

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people younger than me these days, because they have spent

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more time thinking about that than I did. I wanted a stable

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job, a stable paycheck, and retirement, if at all possible,

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that's what I wanted. Oh, and health insurance, like, that's a

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biggie, right? I wanted health insurance. So what is your life?

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What? What are you going to create? How are you going to set

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your life up to be what you want it to be. What is it that you

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want it to be? I'm going to say my life didn't turn out anything

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like I planned. I had a vision. I had a plan for the longest

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time, that I would get married, have kids, quit my. Job, and

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then I would volunteer at the church. I would be, you know,

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big in their school. I would cook dinner every night, which I

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do, cook dinner about every night anyway, and keep a perfect

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house, not quite so much on that part, I live in my house, so

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there's that. But imagine my horror to find out that we were

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never having children. Well, if I not gonna have kids, then I

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found it really hard to want to quit my job. And by the time I

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got to that point, I had so many years in, it was like, Yeah, I

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might as well stay longer. And and I did, and it was a good

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choice that it worked out. I'm very happy and grateful that my

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career worked out that way, and it has afforded me the ability

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to do what I do now. I'm an entrepreneur. I train people.

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I'm a business coach. I do energy healing. I read people's

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records and give them guidance from their spirit team. I do all

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kinds of cool stuff. I would have never been able to do any

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of this cool stuff if I had stayed at my career until I was

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65 or 70, it wouldn't have happened. It would not have

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happened. So when things don't work out, how easily and quickly

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can you shift and change lanes? When I was given the opportunity

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to leave my career Early or move to either Fort Worth or Kansas

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City, I did not want to move. I've lived other places. I

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always come back to Oklahoma. I didn't want to go somewhere

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else, and I had to think about it really hard, because I was

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not ready to leave financially. I had been playing a lot and

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having a really good time, but I chose to leave. I Eve, and I'm

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thrilled that I did, and it was a great move for me. So the

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question becomes, how are you going to shift a lot of

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companies close down and people lose their jobs, and they've got

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to move on to something else. Sometimes the job just isn't

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what it was cut out to be, and you gotta go, and we all need to

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make a living one way or another, but what's it going to

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be, and how gracefully Are you going to embrace that change?

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For me, I had somebody call the office the day after I found out

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my choices, and she said, It's all about the money. Just figure

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out how much you would get for leaving early in your retirement

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account, because I was way too early to leave, but find out how

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much that would be and how you could make up the difference.

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Some of the best advice I've ever gotten. It took me a number

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of weeks to run numbers and figure out where I was and what

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was, you know, what was, what, how it was going to come out.

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But it worked out, and I'm happier, and it's fine. I now

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have a life where most days I can get up when I want to. I've

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got a couple of mornings coming up soon where I have to be up

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and ready and out of the house very early, which is not really

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my favorite thing anymore, but for the most part, I have the

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life I want. I can take vacations, I can work from

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anywhere, as long as I have internet, I'm kind of good to

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go. So what kind of life do you want to build and create. I know

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a couple of people who literally travel full time. Their kids are

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grown. They sold their houses and they travel. They stay in

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hotels, they stay with friends, they go to resorts, and

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everywhere they go. They're doing something that brings in

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money, because they're an entrepreneur, and they had a

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vision for that, and I have some very close friends who

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immediately said, I would never do that. That's but, no, no,

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that's not me. It's not me either. But I totally dig that

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other people are into it. Did you catch that word dig, that

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was kind of intentional. They they do it because that's what

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they want to do. One of my friends I was traveling with,

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and I travel with quite a bit, and she introduced me as her

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travel friend, and she said she travels full time too. And I

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went, No, I don't. I have a house. I have a little lake

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house. I have a husband, I have a cat and a dog like I just

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travel a lot. I travel full time.

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But what does that look like, and how quickly can you shift

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and adapt? I literally am certified at doing training in

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change management and looking at the way. People respond to

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change, and we have a natural response to change. Sometimes

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it's like, oh, yeah, I'm all in. Other times it's like, no, we

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can't do that. Other times it's like, wait. Like, let's weigh

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the pros and cons. We all have our natural desire on that. I

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pretty much want to keep things the same. That's really kind of

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how I was built. But I can look at the other side. I can come up

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with ideas. You can choose how you respond. Typically, the

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older we get, the more set in our ways we are. But I want to

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challenge you that it doesn't have to be that way, and just

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because it was always that way doesn't mean it has to be that

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way. Now, my sister was working on a presentation on change, and

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I was like, I like to share the story that I don't want to work

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with the Big Chief tablet and a number two pencil anymore. I

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like having a computer. If we didn't have technology, if we

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didn't have change, I wouldn't be able to type it all on the

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computer. I'd be writing it all out by hand on a big chief

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tablet with a number two pencil. What do you want to your life to

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look like and embrace your experiences and milestones along

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the way? Because that's what brought you here when I started

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doing training, and I've trained well over 10,000 in the time

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I've been an entrepreneur, someone said, Aren't you just

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really sad that you didn't get into this sooner? And I said no,

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because the experiences I had working in mortgage banking and

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for the federal government led me to where I am today. Each

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experience, each milestone, gave me something else to work with,

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work on, work for, work towards and share with other people. The

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only little bit of regret that I have is that I wasn't a better

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leader when I had that role. I didn't have the skills I think I

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did okay, but now I look at it and I think, oh my gosh, all the

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situations I would have handled differently, personal growth,

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personal development, it is an ongoing thing. I'm in Brendon

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Burchard mastermind group called Ultra and I have gotten

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certified in his high performance coaching program.

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And every time I learn something new, and it builds me up more as

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a person. I think, wow, I would have made some different

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decisions if I had had more information. Do I regret that I

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didn't have it then? No, but I'm surely going to embrace it now.

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I'm going to embrace the experiences that I had. I'm

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going to embrace the new learnings and teachings that I

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can in incorporate into my life now and be a better person. Some

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organizations aren't really big on personal growth. I don't know

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why they should be, but personal growth leads to professional

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growth, and it leads you being a better employee, a better

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spouse, a better partner, a better friend, a better aunt,

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uncle, cousin, whatever it's part of who we are. Our bodies

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are constantly growing and changing. A cell is either

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living or it's dying. Our brains are living and growing and we're

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taking in more information, or we're not. So the question is,

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have you designed your life to make it the way you want it to

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be? Because your life doesn't have to just happen to you. Be

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sure to grab my 12 minute gift.com for more information

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and training on how to design your life. I'm Jennifer Takagi,

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and I look forward to connecting with you soon. So.