Aging: What you don’t fix on yourself, you pass onto others | DFS 330

Jennifer Takagi: 00:00:00

Okay, welcome to Destin for success. I'm your

Jennifer Takagi: 00:00:04

host. Jennifer Takagi, and today I have a special guest. Sarah,

Jennifer Takagi: 00:00:09

okay, I'm going to put your first and last name all together

Jennifer Takagi: 00:00:12

as one thing, and then I'll just do it again. So now I'm going to

Jennifer Takagi: 00:00:15

do it the right way. Karen sarmento, Karen, welcome to the

Jennifer Takagi: 00:00:20

show. I'm so happy to have you today. Hello.

Karen Sarmento: 00:00:23

Thanks for having me. I was looking forward

Karen Sarmento: 00:00:25

to this. Oh, I

Jennifer Takagi: 00:00:26

know. And my calendar got all wonky and we

Jennifer Takagi: 00:00:28

had a rebook and reschedule. Karen is a nurse practitioner,

Jennifer Takagi: 00:00:33

if I have that right in cardiology, but she is a mindset

Jennifer Takagi: 00:00:37

mentor. I want to hear. How did you get into this? And how can

Jennifer Takagi: 00:00:42

you help me?

Karen Sarmento: 00:00:45

So I I've been a nurse practitioner for 19 plus

Karen Sarmento: 00:00:49

years, and love that job. No complaints about that, other

Karen Sarmento: 00:00:54

than I didn't necessarily feel like I was making as much of a

Karen Sarmento: 00:00:58

difference, like there was a little more juice inside me that

Karen Sarmento: 00:01:03

still needed to I don't know, help people, but what happened

Karen Sarmento: 00:01:08

unfortunately in my life is my son's father passed away

Karen Sarmento: 00:01:13

unexpectedly, my fiance in an accident, and my life turned

Karen Sarmento: 00:01:19

upside down, and I hit a real dark place. And as I started to

Karen Sarmento: 00:01:26

pick up the pieces and finally pull myself together, I realized

Karen Sarmento: 00:01:31

that I had more in me, and I had a greater purpose, and it was

Karen Sarmento: 00:01:37

that it was to help other people get out of that dark place. So I

Karen Sarmento: 00:01:42

feel like we're most qualified to help the person we used to

Karen Sarmento: 00:01:46

be, and we're an expert on that person, because you were there.

Karen Sarmento: 00:01:52

And I just little by little, as I worked on myself, I wanted to

Karen Sarmento: 00:01:57

share all that I was learning with other people. Gosh,

Jennifer Takagi: 00:02:01

I love that so much. And I was at a conference

Jennifer Takagi: 00:02:04

about a year ago, and one of the speakers said, I want to impact

Jennifer Takagi: 00:02:12

I think it was 10 million lives. It was a huge number. And I was

Jennifer Takagi: 00:02:16

like, I'm sitting there taking notes, thinking, like, Wow. I

Jennifer Takagi: 00:02:21

mean, like, two would be big for me. Like, really, 10, 10

Jennifer Takagi: 00:02:24

million. And then he broke it down, and he was like, if I help

Jennifer Takagi: 00:02:29

one life, and they end up impacting 10 people, and then

Jennifer Takagi: 00:02:34

those 10 people, 10 people, and then you get to 10 million very

Jennifer Takagi: 00:02:37

quickly. And I was like, Oh, wow. So I can make a very quick

Jennifer Takagi: 00:02:43

connection. As a nurse practitioner, you can help

Jennifer Takagi: 00:02:46

people one at a time, and of course, that ends up helping

Jennifer Takagi: 00:02:49

their family, right? But if you help a really hurting person and

Jennifer Takagi: 00:02:55

their pain, their journey is impacting a great number of

Jennifer Takagi: 00:03:00

people, then it that impact is exponentially bigger. I can so

Jennifer Takagi: 00:03:05

see that connection,

Karen Sarmento: 00:03:07

such a beautiful way to put it. And when I think

Karen Sarmento: 00:03:10

of even myself, one of the big moments when it really hit home,

Karen Sarmento: 00:03:15

what a dark place I was in, is somebody said to me, what you

Karen Sarmento: 00:03:20

don't fix in yourself, you know, you pass along to your child.

Karen Sarmento: 00:03:24

And it was like, like, it just a punch in the gut. And what you

Karen Sarmento: 00:03:31

just said there about the ripple effect. So as I got myself

Karen Sarmento: 00:03:35

together and got stronger and started really showing up, that

Karen Sarmento: 00:03:40

impacted him, and what's, what a, what a, an amazing thing to

Karen Sarmento: 00:03:46

be able to do. So that ripple effect that you're speaking of,

Karen Sarmento: 00:03:49

so then it's your family, then it's friends, and then it's

Karen Sarmento: 00:03:52

their friends, and it, it's, it's really powerful

Jennifer Takagi: 00:03:55

well. And look at your son, because, like, had

Jennifer Takagi: 00:03:59

you not healed and helped, obviously, that impacted his

Jennifer Takagi: 00:04:03

view of the world, then he could have ended up having struggles

Jennifer Takagi: 00:04:07

at school and not getting along with other kids. And I mean,

Jennifer Takagi: 00:04:11

like, the negative impact could have been extreme, and now he's

Jennifer Takagi: 00:04:16

going to have an extreme positive impact.

Karen Sarmento: 00:04:19

Yes, and to set that example for him and for

Karen Sarmento: 00:04:23

other women, that you can go for it like we we're so I don't know

Karen Sarmento: 00:04:28

that self doubt creeps in even when you get that little whisper

Karen Sarmento: 00:04:30

that maybe, maybe I have, maybe I have a greater purpose, or

Karen Sarmento: 00:04:34

maybe I meant for more. But then, yeah, not me. That's,

Karen Sarmento: 00:04:39

that's for her, or she could do that, I couldn't do that.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:04:42

That's for somebody else,

Karen Sarmento: 00:04:45

right? Isn't she amazing? She's but you don't see

Karen Sarmento: 00:04:50

it as that could be me too. If she can, I can. I've had a

Karen Sarmento: 00:04:53

mentor that has said that right along.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:04:57

She can, I can. Okay, so how do you. People,

Jennifer Takagi: 00:05:00

what do you do? You said you were a mindset mentor. How does

Jennifer Takagi: 00:05:04

that work? How do you help people with that? Yeah,

Karen Sarmento: 00:05:07

so it definitely starts with an awareness, an

Karen Sarmento: 00:05:10

awareness of where you are now, and catching your thought

Karen Sarmento: 00:05:14

process so when you actually walk through your day to day

Karen Sarmento: 00:05:19

life, noticing the way you talk to yourself, notice where the

Karen Sarmento: 00:05:23

limiting beliefs creep in. Notice where you have that self

Karen Sarmento: 00:05:28

imposed boundary of where you cap off your results and

Karen Sarmento: 00:05:34

allowing yourself to start to actually think big, and allowing

Karen Sarmento: 00:05:38

yourself to dream and create a bigger vision for yourself, but

Karen Sarmento: 00:05:43

simultaneously recognize where the doubts are coming in and

Karen Sarmento: 00:05:48

catching that because all of that, the doubts and the

Karen Sarmento: 00:05:52

limiting beliefs have kind of been formulated over the course

Karen Sarmento: 00:05:56

of our lifetime, so they're pretty, pretty, uh, heavily

Karen Sarmento: 00:06:00

embedded in who we are, but you can change that with starting

Karen Sarmento: 00:06:04

with an awareness of what they are.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:06:07

And we end up going through life just so

Jennifer Takagi: 00:06:09

mindlessly. I was driving home the other day, and I drive this

Jennifer Takagi: 00:06:14

highway every week, and it was coming close to sunset, and I'm

Jennifer Takagi: 00:06:23

just driving along, just driving along, and all of a sudden it

Jennifer Takagi: 00:06:27

was like there was a deer on the side of the road, and he was

Jennifer Takagi: 00:06:30

just on the other side of the shoulder, like he was feet, or

Jennifer Takagi: 00:06:33

she, whatever it was. And I was like, Holy crap. Like, I thank

Jennifer Takagi: 00:06:38

goodness it didn't run in front of me. Like, I don't know if I

Jennifer Takagi: 00:06:41

don't know if I could have responded fast enough, because I

Jennifer Takagi: 00:06:43

was just going through the motions. I had the cruise

Jennifer Takagi: 00:06:45

control set. I'm just staying in my lane right? So that awareness

Jennifer Takagi: 00:06:51

is big

Karen Sarmento: 00:06:53

it is. I've actually driven to work because

Karen Sarmento: 00:06:56

I was so conditioned to go to work that a day I wasn't going

Karen Sarmento: 00:07:01

to work. Actually, got on the highway as if I was going to

Karen Sarmento: 00:07:04

work. Like, oh my god, I'm going to get my hair done. I'm not

Karen Sarmento: 00:07:06

going to work.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:07:08

This is not,

Karen Sarmento: 00:07:11

yeah, that was a point in life for I was just

Karen Sarmento: 00:07:15

literally Groundhog Day, going through the motions every day,

Karen Sarmento: 00:07:19

same thing, and if we do the same thing every single day, we

Karen Sarmento: 00:07:24

get the same result every single day.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:07:28

What is the isn't that the definition of

Jennifer Takagi: 00:07:30

insanity?

Karen Sarmento: 00:07:31

It is doing the same thing over and over again

Karen Sarmento: 00:07:34

and expecting a different result.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:07:36

I have high expectations, but I'm going to

Jennifer Takagi: 00:07:38

do the same thing. So, yeah, exactly. Oh my gosh. So

Jennifer Takagi: 00:07:41

awareness is number one. That's so key. I love that.

Karen Sarmento: 00:07:47

And then asking yourself, when you actually

Karen Sarmento: 00:07:50

create a bigger vision for your life, or if you recognize that

Karen Sarmento: 00:07:53

you have a greater purpose? Who do I need to be to actually pull

Karen Sarmento: 00:07:58

that off? Who do I need to show up as to do those amazing

Karen Sarmento: 00:08:03

things. Or who am I with the goal achieved? Like, how would I

Karen Sarmento: 00:08:07

walk, talk, dress, communicate, have, experience, conflict, all

Karen Sarmento: 00:08:14

those things and doing it. So I call it myself image script, and

Karen Sarmento: 00:08:19

I've actually written it out. Like, how would I talk? How do I

Karen Sarmento: 00:08:22

walk you head up, shoulders back, because you can't

Karen Sarmento: 00:08:26

outperform your self image, so we have to step that up. It's

Karen Sarmento: 00:08:30

like a a thermostat and limited self image limited results, but

Karen Sarmento: 00:08:36

you can change that with just even subtle changes and the way

Karen Sarmento: 00:08:40

you show up in the world. And it could be fun too, because you

Karen Sarmento: 00:08:43

kind of can almost recreate yourself.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:08:47

I was at an event in in doing this kind of

Jennifer Takagi: 00:08:50

thing, which, as you say it, I'm like gang. I didn't do that. I

Jennifer Takagi: 00:08:54

knew that I didn't do it, Karen, but she actually had us rename

Jennifer Takagi: 00:08:58

our Alter Ego, that we could be best friends with her and step

Jennifer Takagi: 00:09:05

into that.

Karen Sarmento: 00:09:06

How fun. I have heard of that you have actually

Karen Sarmento: 00:09:09

giving her a name. Yeah, yeah, that's very fun.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:09:15

It is fun, and it's fun to have that playful

Jennifer Takagi: 00:09:17

thought, like I've, I've done some amazing things in my life,

Jennifer Takagi: 00:09:23

and I'm so grateful that I've had the opportunities that I've

Jennifer Takagi: 00:09:26

had, but I've said I was going to do something, and I've heard

Jennifer Takagi: 00:09:35

instantaneous result responses, not Even a hair of a second,

Jennifer Takagi: 00:09:41

nano second thought I could never do that. And inside I'm

Jennifer Takagi: 00:09:46

thinking, sure you could, because we're not that

Jennifer Takagi: 00:09:49

different, like, of course you could, but it's that idea of not

Jennifer Takagi: 00:09:54

being able to dream bigger. And oh, well, maybe I could do that.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:09:58

I.

Karen Sarmento: 00:10:00

Hands. It's that split second that we talk

Karen Sarmento: 00:10:02

ourselves out of it, and then you just stay in the comfortable

Karen Sarmento: 00:10:07

place for that reason too, because it's comfortable.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:10:12

It's what we know, whether we like it or not.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:10:15

I get a lot of energy healing work, and the one thing I've

Jennifer Takagi: 00:10:19

learned is even if we keep reliving the same emotion over

Jennifer Takagi: 00:10:24

and over again, and we're like, I hate that emotion. I hate that

Jennifer Takagi: 00:10:27

emotion. The subconscious mind is like, but I know how to feel

Jennifer Takagi: 00:10:31

it. I know what it is. And you you know you struggle to get

Jennifer Takagi: 00:10:35

past that awesome. So you have to ask, What do you want? What

Jennifer Takagi: 00:10:38

do you need? Who do you want to be? How am I going to show up? I

Jennifer Takagi: 00:10:41

love that. So impactful.

Karen Sarmento: 00:10:44

Yes, I love that. What you just said, even

Karen Sarmento: 00:10:46

though it's a negative place, it's home. It's like, oh, I'm

Karen Sarmento: 00:10:52

home, even though it's not serving us to stay there,

Jennifer Takagi: 00:10:57

yeah, not in any way at all. Oh my gosh. So

Jennifer Takagi: 00:11:01

what else? So now, now I'm creating a vision for myself of

Jennifer Takagi: 00:11:05

how I'm going to show up in the world. I need to do this like,

Jennifer Takagi: 00:11:08

really focused. I love it. Okay. What else? Yeah,

Karen Sarmento: 00:11:12

writing it down. Writing it down is powerful.

Karen Sarmento: 00:11:15

Your vision for your the future, anything that you'd like to

Karen Sarmento: 00:11:18

create do what you want to be do and have basically, but show

Karen Sarmento: 00:11:24

writing down your self image script. Who do you need to show

Karen Sarmento: 00:11:27

up as? And, gosh, catching those limiting beliefs when they creep

Karen Sarmento: 00:11:32

in. And whatever it is that you're afraid of or afraid to

Karen Sarmento: 00:11:36

do, to do it anyway, because that's where the power is.

Karen Sarmento: 00:11:41

That's where we grow. That's where we develop our strength.

Karen Sarmento: 00:11:46

When you actually do the thing, the thing will give you power.

Karen Sarmento: 00:11:51

And I think when you get on the other side of that, that's when

Karen Sarmento: 00:11:54

you come out differently, come out a different person, just

Karen Sarmento: 00:11:58

even if it's a smidge stronger, or your head's just up, just a

Karen Sarmento: 00:12:01

little bit taller, because, damn, I did it.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:12:06

Oh my gosh, I love that. I'm taking notes.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:12:11

That's

Karen Sarmento: 00:12:12

I love it. That's awesome. I keep having

Jennifer Takagi: 00:12:15

a pause to finish my thought that I want to

Jennifer Takagi: 00:12:17

write down. I'm an avid note taker. That's kind of like my

Jennifer Takagi: 00:12:20

claim to fame is an avid note taker. So when, when people work

Jennifer Takagi: 00:12:25

with you? What does that look like? How do we work together?

Karen Sarmento: 00:12:30

I do it in a I have two different ways. I have

Karen Sarmento: 00:12:34

a four week which is just a self image class. Course, it's a once

Karen Sarmento: 00:12:38

a week class group setting, but we work on self image alone,

Karen Sarmento: 00:12:43

because that's just really can be a self imposed boundary of

Karen Sarmento: 00:12:48

what what your life could look like, and that's all group and

Karen Sarmento: 00:12:52

then I also have a 12 week program where we go through

Karen Sarmento: 00:12:56

awareness, knowing, doing gap like I know What I should be

Karen Sarmento: 00:13:01

doing. Well, why aren't I doing it? Visioneering, creating the

Karen Sarmento: 00:13:05

vision we cover self image. So each week, it's a different step

Karen Sarmento: 00:13:11

of how you can really conquer your basically, it's your your

Karen Sarmento: 00:13:16

subconscious mind, all those deep seated thoughts and

Karen Sarmento: 00:13:22

paradigms, those so that the belief system that we've

Karen Sarmento: 00:13:26

developed over the course of a lifetime, and it's from

Karen Sarmento: 00:13:29

everywhere, it's family, culture, friends, society, we've

Karen Sarmento: 00:13:34

over time, kind of become something else and sort of an

Karen Sarmento: 00:13:39

unbecoming

Jennifer Takagi: 00:13:42

Well, it is, and I I'm work with Brenda

Jennifer Takagi: 00:13:47

Burchard in his mastermind group, and it's like to having

Jennifer Takagi: 00:13:53

that awareness, and you have to make a choice. Do, Do I want to

Jennifer Takagi: 00:13:59

stay where I am right now, or do I want to step into something

Jennifer Takagi: 00:14:03

better, bigger and greater?

Karen Sarmento: 00:14:06

Mm, hmm, cuz that you said that a choice.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:14:10

Go ahead. Yeah, it's a comfort zone. And you

Jennifer Takagi: 00:14:13

said, and you have a choice, right?

Karen Sarmento: 00:14:17

It's, it's so true. And one of the topics I

Karen Sarmento: 00:14:21

always cover is decision making, because similar to a choice,

Karen Sarmento: 00:14:25

it's it's like a decision. I'm going to do things differently.

Karen Sarmento: 00:14:29

I want different, and I'm going to do different, because that's

Karen Sarmento: 00:14:34

how things will change. And it does start with a decision. I

Karen Sarmento: 00:14:39

didn't I used to not be a good decision maker, very wishy

Karen Sarmento: 00:14:42

washy, maybe, well, I don't know. Let me ask. And then it

Karen Sarmento: 00:14:47

creates a lot of ambivalence inside your mind and disorder in

Karen Sarmento: 00:14:51

your mind, and it's hard to create from that state.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:14:57

Indecisiveness creates disorder. Is that what

Jennifer Takagi: 00:15:00

you just said?

Karen Sarmento: 00:15:01

I did, yeah,

Jennifer Takagi: 00:15:03

oh my gosh, that is so powerful. I as an

Jennifer Takagi: 00:15:07

entrepreneur, I read books from, you know, some of the greats,

Jennifer Takagi: 00:15:12

and they, they say the most successful people, make

Jennifer Takagi: 00:15:16

decisions very quickly. And I was like, Well, how do you do

Jennifer Takagi: 00:15:20

that? And it was like, they make a decision, and if it doesn't

Jennifer Takagi: 00:15:24

work out, they suck, and they do something else. And it was like,

Jennifer Takagi: 00:15:28

you can do that.

Karen Sarmento: 00:15:30

Yes, that's exactly it. And it's like a

Karen Sarmento: 00:15:33

muscle. So the more you get used to making decisions swiftly and

Karen Sarmento: 00:15:38

standing by your decision. And like you said, if it doesn't

Karen Sarmento: 00:15:41

work out, you're just accountable for whatever

Karen Sarmento: 00:15:43

decision you made, because it's I always feel like it's an

Karen Sarmento: 00:15:46

inside job. I'm the I'm the creator, so if I make a

Karen Sarmento: 00:15:49

decision, it's the wrong one, and oh well, we'll just have to

Karen Sarmento: 00:15:53

do it differently next time.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:15:55

Well, and I in in my past career, I used to

Jennifer Takagi: 00:16:00

tell my staff when they would get hung up on like they didn't

Jennifer Takagi: 00:16:03

even make the decision. Most of the times they made

Jennifer Takagi: 00:16:05

recommendations, right? Like they put all the packages

Jennifer Takagi: 00:16:08

together, made a recommendation, and then I weighed in. My boss

Jennifer Takagi: 00:16:11

weighed in. You know, who knew how many levels it would

Jennifer Takagi: 00:16:14

possibly go through. But my thing was, there's nothing we

Jennifer Takagi: 00:16:20

did in our job, unlike you being a nurse practitioner in

Jennifer Takagi: 00:16:24

cardiology, there was nothing we did that was life or death. If

Jennifer Takagi: 00:16:28

somebody called and it was life or death, they needed to call

Jennifer Takagi: 00:16:30

911, because we could not solve that, right? So in making a

Jennifer Takagi: 00:16:37

quick decision, it's quickly deciding if this is the wrong

Jennifer Takagi: 00:16:41

decision, what's, what's the ramification, but not dwelling

Jennifer Takagi: 00:16:45

on it? Yeah,

Karen Sarmento: 00:16:47

you're right.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:16:49

We end up hanging on to that so long. Oh

Jennifer Takagi: 00:16:52

my gosh. So I love this. So if, if I want to, like, take the

Jennifer Takagi: 00:16:57

first step, and I want to shift my mindsets? Is there one

Jennifer Takagi: 00:17:04

practice that I could engage in every day that would have the

Jennifer Takagi: 00:17:09

biggest impact for me?

Karen Sarmento: 00:17:12

First thing that comes to mind is mirror work,

Karen Sarmento: 00:17:14

just catching your your thoughts, so being aware of your

Karen Sarmento: 00:17:18

thoughts as they creep in, but when you're looking in the

Karen Sarmento: 00:17:22

mirror in the morning, first thing in the morning, when you

Karen Sarmento: 00:17:24

get up, brush your teeth, wash your face, whatever, brushing

Karen Sarmento: 00:17:27

your hair. What's going through your head and what are you

Karen Sarmento: 00:17:31

saying to yourself, catching any negatives there, but speaking to

Karen Sarmento: 00:17:37

yourself with all positives when you look in the mirror, and it's

Karen Sarmento: 00:17:40

a great place to start looking in your own eyes and pointing

Karen Sarmento: 00:17:46

out all your positives, that you look good today, or my hair

Karen Sarmento: 00:17:50

looks good today, or my skin, rather than the norm, we tend to

Karen Sarmento: 00:17:53

go right to the negatives, zeroing right in on Gosh, as

Karen Sarmento: 00:17:57

well at the wrinkles, and so focusing on the positives and

Karen Sarmento: 00:18:02

just being aware.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:18:04

I I have a best friend since I was 11, and I

Jennifer Takagi: 00:18:07

talked to her most days, and I'll say, oh my gosh, I'm having

Jennifer Takagi: 00:18:11

the best hair day ever. And she's like, really, really,

Jennifer Takagi: 00:18:15

that's what you have to say right now. And I'm like, yes,

Jennifer Takagi: 00:18:19

because some days it's not but today is a great hair day, so I

Jennifer Takagi: 00:18:24

can do anything

Karen Sarmento: 00:18:26

I love that I

Jennifer Takagi: 00:18:28

do that's so fun. People, people would laugh.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:18:32

They'd be like, She's crazy. Well, you know, it's the little

Jennifer Takagi: 00:18:35

things in life. It's the little things that end up breaking us.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:18:38

It's not the big tragic things, right? We've survived everyone

Jennifer Takagi: 00:18:42

listening to this podcast. And Karen, obviously, you have had

Jennifer Takagi: 00:18:46

an immense amount of tragedy in your life, too. Life too. But

Jennifer Takagi: 00:18:49

here we are, and we're moving on. And they were huge. But you

Jennifer Takagi: 00:18:53

know, you do that one stupid little thing and you beat

Jennifer Takagi: 00:18:58

yourself up like it was life or death, and it was not right, but

Jennifer Takagi: 00:19:03

you beat yourself up over the little thing. So those are the

Jennifer Takagi: 00:19:06

things that I think we have to embrace a whole lot more.

Karen Sarmento: 00:19:10

I could not agree more. We spend so much

Karen Sarmento: 00:19:13

time with the memories that don't serve us, revisiting it

Karen Sarmento: 00:19:16

and revisiting it, but we don't revisit the amazing things we've

Karen Sarmento: 00:19:20

done, or remind ourselves of the amazing things, but we will

Karen Sarmento: 00:19:24

revisit the mistake, and those are the things that really

Karen Sarmento: 00:19:30

propel us forward. I think it's the mistakes and the adversity

Karen Sarmento: 00:19:33

or the challenges that's the time that you grow, when things

Karen Sarmento: 00:19:40

are difficult or challenging, and you make it through, come

Karen Sarmento: 00:19:43

out on the other side. And you do come out on the other side.

Karen Sarmento: 00:19:47

You come out different. You come out stronger. You come out with

Karen Sarmento: 00:19:51

more wisdom and something to share with other people.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:19:55

And you just can't stay there. You have to

Jennifer Takagi: 00:19:58

come out on the other side. Mm.

Karen Sarmento: 00:20:01

Yes,

Jennifer Takagi: 00:20:04

it's a choice, it's a decision, but you have

Jennifer Takagi: 00:20:07

to, well, you don't have to. It's your choice, but the right

Jennifer Takagi: 00:20:12

choice is to come out on the other side. It

Karen Sarmento: 00:20:17

is to make that decision a committed decision to

Karen Sarmento: 00:20:20

yourself, and it's got to be for yourself. It's like that

Karen Sarmento: 00:20:23

personal integrity, where if I say I'm going to do something, I

Karen Sarmento: 00:20:29

do it because I said I was going to, whether nobody, whether

Karen Sarmento: 00:20:33

anybody knows about it or not, because we'll keep our word to

Karen Sarmento: 00:20:37

other people, but don't always keep our word to ourself.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:20:45

You might know the answer to this, because I

Jennifer Takagi: 00:20:48

don't, but I vaguely recall that I read somewhere that when you

Jennifer Takagi: 00:20:56

don't keep your promise to yourself, then it becomes easier

Jennifer Takagi: 00:21:01

and easier not to keep your word to yourself, to the point that

Jennifer Takagi: 00:21:06

when you decide you want to do something big, it's really hard

Jennifer Takagi: 00:21:09

to do because your mind is like, she doesn't do what she says

Jennifer Takagi: 00:21:13

she's going to do. I'm not really going to support her in

Jennifer Takagi: 00:21:15

this. Have you? Are you familiar with that? Can you

Karen Sarmento: 00:21:18

I have absolutely and I don't have

Karen Sarmento: 00:21:20

anything to cite it per se, but I definitely agree with that,

Karen Sarmento: 00:21:24

and believe that wholeheartedly. It's like your subconscious mind

Karen Sarmento: 00:21:28

you've created this, I don't know, message that you're you

Karen Sarmento: 00:21:33

don't take action, you procrastinate, or she says she's

Karen Sarmento: 00:21:37

going to do a thing, she's not going to do it. But you can turn

Karen Sarmento: 00:21:40

that around too. Also, like starting things and not

Karen Sarmento: 00:21:44

finishing them, you start to tell the subconscious mind that

Karen Sarmento: 00:21:48

you're not a finisher. You don't do what you say you're going to

Karen Sarmento: 00:21:51

do.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:21:53

So do you have any suggestions on how to take

Jennifer Takagi: 00:21:58

that next step?

Karen Sarmento: 00:22:00

Yes, starting small. So starting with small

Karen Sarmento: 00:22:05

things, setting promises to yourself, but they they should

Karen Sarmento: 00:22:09

be small to begin with, so that you can absolutely follow

Karen Sarmento: 00:22:13

through. So if it's you know, you want to start getting up

Karen Sarmento: 00:22:16

earlier in the morning, rather than saying, I'm going to get up

Karen Sarmento: 00:22:19

at 4am meditate and exercise every morning. When you don't do

Karen Sarmento: 00:22:24

that,

Jennifer Takagi: 00:22:27

I dare do that. If

Karen Sarmento: 00:22:28

I said I was going to start do I'm going to

Karen Sarmento: 00:22:30

start doing that tomorrow, getting up at 4am exercising and

Karen Sarmento: 00:22:34

meditating, and I'm going to read too. It's like a a recipe

Karen Sarmento: 00:22:38

for disaster, setting yourself up to just confirm to the

Karen Sarmento: 00:22:41

subconscious mind that I don't do what I say I'm going to do,

Karen Sarmento: 00:22:44

but if I say I'm going to start getting up 10 minutes earlier,

Karen Sarmento: 00:22:47

or tomorrow, I'm going to get up 10 minutes earlier, or today,

Karen Sarmento: 00:22:51

I'm going to go for a quick walk, I don't know, outside for

Karen Sarmento: 00:22:55

for 15 minutes. Small goals that are very achievable. So you can

Karen Sarmento: 00:23:00

start to reprogram the subconscious mind that you do

Karen Sarmento: 00:23:03

what you say you're going to do.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:23:06

I love that I I was on a a group call, and the

Jennifer Takagi: 00:23:13

leader was going through their day and all the things they do.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:23:17

And you know, it looks like you have to get up at three or four

Jennifer Takagi: 00:23:20

in the morning to get all that done before you have a fully

Jennifer Takagi: 00:23:22

productive day. It was like, Holy crap, bully. I you know, I

Jennifer Takagi: 00:23:25

can't do that. And a woman typed in the chat, and she was like, I

Jennifer Takagi: 00:23:30

don't even know how to do all of this. And and then she proceeded

Jennifer Takagi: 00:23:36

to say, kind of like, what her day looked like. And a really

Jennifer Takagi: 00:23:41

kind person put in the chat, pick one thing and start doing

Jennifer Takagi: 00:23:49

that. So if you want to get up earlier in the morning and

Jennifer Takagi: 00:23:53

meditate, exercise and do 40,000 things before your work day per

Jennifer Takagi: 00:23:58

se starts, maybe it's just getting up 10 minutes earlier

Jennifer Takagi: 00:24:02

and starting your day for a while, until that becomes a bit

Jennifer Takagi: 00:24:07

of a routine. And then add something else. But for me, four

Jennifer Takagi: 00:24:12

comes once a day, and that's in the PM, not in the AM.

Karen Sarmento: 00:24:19

Oh, thank you, and that's important to

Karen Sarmento: 00:24:23

recognize too, that, you know, some people feel like that, that

Karen Sarmento: 00:24:26

miracle morning, you have to be up at four and 5am doing all

Karen Sarmento: 00:24:30

these things. But if that doesn't suit you or serve you,

Karen Sarmento: 00:24:34

you have to do what lights you up or what fuels you, and if

Karen Sarmento: 00:24:38

getting up at 4am just leaves you feeling exhausted all day,

Karen Sarmento: 00:24:42

and it's not your thing. You have to figure out what your own

Karen Sarmento: 00:24:45

thing is so that it does suit you. And I think so

Jennifer Takagi: 00:24:49

many of those things are brilliant, but

Jennifer Takagi: 00:24:52

they're also just a really good framework. And I had a friend

Jennifer Takagi: 00:24:58

who was extremely committed to the. At is it called Miracle

Jennifer Takagi: 00:25:01

Morning, where you get up at four every day? Is that what

Jennifer Takagi: 00:25:04

that is? Obviously, I did not research it because I wasn't

Jennifer Takagi: 00:25:07

going to do it at all. And something had shifted in her

Jennifer Takagi: 00:25:13

life. I can't remember what, but she said I decided to give

Jennifer Takagi: 00:25:16

myself a break, and for the next month, I wasn't getting up at

Jennifer Takagi: 00:25:19

four. I was going to get up at six because maybe she had out of

Jennifer Takagi: 00:25:24

town company or something. She goes because I know I'm going to

Jennifer Takagi: 00:25:26

be up later, and I can't get up at four if I'm up a little bit

Jennifer Takagi: 00:25:30

later. So I think sometimes we beat ourselves up because we try

Jennifer Takagi: 00:25:35

to incorporate some very rigid standards that may not suit us.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:25:42

Absolutely,

Karen Sarmento: 00:25:43

yeah, the rigidity of it is, yeah,

Karen Sarmento: 00:25:47

absolutely.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:25:50

It makes it hard. Well, if, if the audience,

Jennifer Takagi: 00:25:54

when the audience wants to get hold of you, how are they going

Jennifer Takagi: 00:25:57

to find you? Miss Karen.

Karen Sarmento: 00:25:59

Okay, so I have a website, Karen sarmento.com,

Karen Sarmento: 00:26:04

and I would invite people to join me in my Facebook group,

Karen Sarmento: 00:26:08

which is just, it's all women, just a free environment where I

Karen Sarmento: 00:26:13

provide a lot of information. We're in the middle of a self

Karen Sarmento: 00:26:15

image challenge, depending on when this comes out, but we're

Karen Sarmento: 00:26:19

I've always got something going on in there. So that is under my

Karen Sarmento: 00:26:22

company name, which is sarmento mentoring services. That's the

Karen Sarmento: 00:26:26

Facebook group, and you can find me on Facebook under my name or

Karen Sarmento: 00:26:32

under sarmento mentoring services.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:26:35

Oh my gosh. I love that, Karen, you've given

Jennifer Takagi: 00:26:37

us such great things. And I love like the the three main things

Jennifer Takagi: 00:26:42

that I took away were awareness of where you are, because,

Jennifer Takagi: 00:26:46

again, we just blindly go through life, and could've hit a

Jennifer Takagi: 00:26:48

deer and think, you know, by the grace of God, did not ask about

Jennifer Takagi: 00:26:55

creating your bigger vision for yourself. I have read a lot and

Jennifer Takagi: 00:26:59

heard a lot about the brain loves questions, and it wants to

Jennifer Takagi: 00:27:04

work really hard to solve them. So like, what could my bigger

Jennifer Takagi: 00:27:07

life look like? What's that vision? And then writing it

Jennifer Takagi: 00:27:10

down, I would be embarrassed to flip this camera around for you

Jennifer Takagi: 00:27:15

to see all the spiral notebooks I have all over my office, and

Jennifer Takagi: 00:27:20

it's very embarrassing. And I've tried tablets, and I've not

Jennifer Takagi: 00:27:24

found one that feels as good as a spiral. But I mean, I've I've

Jennifer Takagi: 00:27:32

committed, I'm going to write it down. I'm totally going to write

Jennifer Takagi: 00:27:35

it down. Um, and I love that you've got several ways you can

Jennifer Takagi: 00:27:38

work with people. Is your 12 week program, group or one on

Jennifer Takagi: 00:27:41

one, that's group, that's group. Okay, so it's all group,

Karen Sarmento: 00:27:45

awesome. Yeah, I do some one on one, but it's

Karen Sarmento: 00:27:47

kind of morphed into a lot of group. Yeah, the community is

Karen Sarmento: 00:27:51

kind of nice. Everybody's got support, and it's, it's been a

Karen Sarmento: 00:27:55

great community of women.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:27:57

I I've had some awesome experiences in group

Jennifer Takagi: 00:28:00

programs, and recently, an experience was one of the

Jennifer Takagi: 00:28:06

participants shared several like mic drop comments, and it was

Jennifer Takagi: 00:28:12

like, we would have all never gotten the benefit of that if it

Jennifer Takagi: 00:28:16

had just been one on one. I think there's a benefit of one

Jennifer Takagi: 00:28:18

on one, but there's really some juicy stuff that comes out in

Jennifer Takagi: 00:28:22

group coaching,

Karen Sarmento: 00:28:24

absolutely

Jennifer Takagi: 00:28:26

yes. So as

Jennifer Takagi: 00:28:28

we wrap up, do you have any final thoughts for the audience?

Karen Sarmento: 00:28:34

I just would encourage the audience that

Karen Sarmento: 00:28:38

listen to that inner voice if you're getting that subtle

Karen Sarmento: 00:28:41

whisper that you might have a greater purpose, or toying

Karen Sarmento: 00:28:45

around with doing something more with your life, or just just in

Karen Sarmento: 00:28:50

general, to listen to that voice, that message is meant for

Karen Sarmento: 00:28:54

you, and just take any step toward something different, and

Karen Sarmento: 00:28:59

the next step will be laid out for you little by little, and

Karen Sarmento: 00:29:02

that's how the change happens. Oh

Jennifer Takagi: 00:29:04

my gosh, I love that. Thank you so much for your

Jennifer Takagi: 00:29:07

time and your valuable insights today. Karen, oh,

Karen Sarmento: 00:29:10

thank you so much for having me. What a fun

Karen Sarmento: 00:29:12

conversation. I really enjoyed it.

Jennifer Takagi: 00:29:16

I'm so glad I'm Jennifer Takagi with destin for

Jennifer Takagi: 00:29:19

success, and I look forward to connecting with you soon see.