Act as if … | DFS 335

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Jennifer, welcome to destined for success.

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I'm your host, Jennifer Takagi, and today I want to take a spin

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around the conversation of last week, and that is on Tabitha

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Jones talk on be promotion ready, proven strategies to be

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ready for that next promotion, that next thing in life. And I

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want to take this along the course of act as if, so that's

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what I'm going to call this episode. Act as if. Act as if

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you already, you already what you already are, the person you

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want to be your future self in my 12 minute gift. Com, and

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that's one two for the number 12 minute gift.com. The I in the

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win formula is imagine the future. And you need to imagine

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your future with great detail with a lot of specificity. And

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what is it going to look like when you wake up? How are you

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going to feel when your feet hit the floor? What do they touch?

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Is it dirt? Do you want to be out camping under the stars? Is

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it tile? Because you're in a really warm climate, and so

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everything's tiled, so something is cool, or do you want to step

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onto a nice plush carpet? I mean, take your day all the way

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back. One time, I was working in Washington, DC for an entire

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summer, and I had the privilege of staying at the Willard Hotel

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on the government dime because they had a government rate. It

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was amazing. And my husband came to spend a long weekend with me.

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It was over Fourth of July, which Fourth of July in

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Washington, DC, is spectacular in and of itself. And we had

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gone out on Fourth of July seeing the fireworks, super fun

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night on Friday night, I mean, on Saturday and then Sunday

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morning, I wanted to go to this really expensive, amazing

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brunch. And my husband kept saying, That's too expensive.

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We're not going we're not going well, he proved me right,

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because he stayed in bed till like, two in the afternoon,

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like, Wouldn't even wake up. Finally, I started shaking him,

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and I was like, Bill, you have to get up. We have to get out.

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It's Fourth of July weekend in Washington, DC. We live in

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Oklahoma City like we need to enjoy this. We may never be here

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again. And he opened his eyes, and he looked at me, and he

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said, This is the most comfortable bed, and these are

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the most comfortable sheets I've ever slept on in my life. I want

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to know

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how you get up and go to work every day. How do you do

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that? And it was like, Yes, and I stayed in some really nice

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hotels on the government dime, because the government has a

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lowered rate, and the hotels would honor that rate when it

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was a business trip. I love nice hotels. I don't mind staying at,

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you know, a Holiday Inn, even in Motel Six. If they're clean and

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nice, I'm fine with that too. But if I have the opportunity to

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stay at a nice hotel, I can just own it. And in the fall of 2024

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the month of October, actually, I spent the whole October in the

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south of Spain, and we had the most beautiful Airbnb right on

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the Mediterranean Sea. It was spectacular. And when you get an

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Airbnb for a whole month, the price plummets. So let me just

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tell you it cost me and my friend. I think it was about $85

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a day a piece to stay in this beautiful apartment. And we

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decided that since we got a great deal on the apartment,

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that we would travel a little bit, and if we needed to stay in

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a hotel, no big deal. We would stay in a hotel. So we went to

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where did we go? We went to Granada, Spain because we wanted

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to see Alhambra have dinner at this spectacular restaurant that

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overlooked the city. When the lights started coming on and we

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had no hotel reservations, we had no idea where to go, and my

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friend Kimberly has this app, and it has hotels. And she was

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like, Well, if we go this way and we're walking along the

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streets of Granada, dragging our bags with us, trying to find a

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place to stay. And she goes, Oh, here it is, like we turned a

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corner and there was a hotel. We walked in, we walked up to the

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counter. We asked if they had a room. They said, yes, she has

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her phone. And she was like, is it going to be this much? And

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they said, No, this much. Well, we were speaking euros and

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dollars, so we had to, like, get that squared away on what, what

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denomination of money we were talking about. Yeah, and they

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ended up being the same. So we were great. I'm hot. It has been

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really hot. We've been walking for, you know, it seemed like

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forever. It probably wasn't. It was probably just a couple

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miles, but it was hot and I was miserable. And they have these

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beautiful water dispensers that were glass water dispensers, and

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one had like lemon, and one had cucumber, and they had beautiful

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glass, not paper cups, glass. And so while she's finishing up

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getting us checked in, I guzzled several of these glasses of

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water, and when she finished up, we turned to go to the elevator

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to go find our room. And this, this hotel was spectacular. It

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was beautiful. It was marble. It was gorgeous and and it was

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reasonably priced, especially since we were there on a

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weekend, and we start walking to the elevator. And I turned to

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her, and I said, Yeah, this is the kind of hotel we stay in,

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and we did, and we often do. I travel with her for business a

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lot, and we often end up with great deals on really nice

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hotels. And I enjoy that. I took a class on how to have a VIP day

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with a client. Really get a great breakthrough with a

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client. If, if you want to know more you know, just click the

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button and book a discovery call. But one of the things she

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said was, if you're holding it at a hotel, if you're having

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your breakthrough session at a hotel, and you've not been into

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really nice hotels, go to the hotel first. A lot of times, the

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people at the door are the same, like they they're permanent

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employees. Get to know them. Get to know the people at the front

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desk. Spend a little bit of time just sitting in the lobby. The

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lobby of the Willard Hotel is spectacular. There is a huge,

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huge round table. I think it might have a marble top, and

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they have a flower arrangement that's like, three or four feet

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tall. So you walk in and here's this just gorgeous lobby. It's

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spectacular. And it takes your breath away a little bit. And

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it's not that I became callous to it, because every time I

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walked in and had that feeling of, ooh, this is this is

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beautiful, like I'm appreciating these gorgeous flowers, Fourth

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of July, by the way, they were all red, white and blue. It was

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spectacular. But I knew I belonged there. I had been there

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so many times. I belonged there. I showed up on Mondays. I left

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Friday mornings. They knew me. I was there consistently. I fit

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in. If you want to act as if you're ready for the next level,

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you have to be accustomed to being in surroundings of the

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next level. Is it hanging out in a hotel lobby and having a soft

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drink or an alcoholic beverage, either one, where you can really

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become comfortable in that surrounding? Do you want a new

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car? Do you want a new car and you almost can't see yourself in

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that car. Go to the car dealership, tell them you want

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to see that car with all the bells and whistles. Don't scrimp

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and sit in the car. Get the feel for the car. What is that

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steering wheel feel like? Is it wooden? Does it have leather

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wrapping. Is it a whatever kind of other material steering

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wheels are, I want to say some kind of rubber, plastic. That's

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hard. I've I've had all of the above. And like cars over the

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years, like, what does it feel like? And does that matter to

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you? I have a friend who always says the only purpose of a car

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is get point A to point B, and I believe that, but I also believe

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I want to get from point A to point B in some comfort. I want

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heat. I want air conditioning, right? I want I want air

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conditioned and heated seats. There are some things that, over

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the years, I've come to enjoy. So what kind of car is it? Have

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them take your picture standing with the car like it's your new

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car. You have to start believing in your future self, who you

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want to be. When I first started my career, I have two older

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sisters, and my oldest sister said you need to dress according

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to the person above you for the next position you want. Dress

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like the person in the next position that you want, which

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that's a little hard on Zoom these days, with a lot of people

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working virtually a lot of the What's it. Acceptable at work

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has changed, and, you know, dropped down to a minimal, if

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non existent level. But when I was coming up, women wore suits,

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skirts, pantyhose, oh, the dreaded pantyhose and pumps,

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like, that's just what you wore. And I was in mortgage banking, I

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dressed like that every day. It just was routine, like I had my

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eight or nine outfits that I rotated through. And when I went

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to the federal government, they used to tease me because I

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always had on a dress, and they're like, Jennifer, do you

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own pants? Well, I did, but I wore what I had as I started

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replacing clothes I had pants more in my repertoire, and then

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I went to pants like almost exclusively, but I looked like

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my boss, as in the dress. I could walk in any meeting at any

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time and sit in for my boss because I looked appropriate.

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And I just want to say I had some colleagues who did not make

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that same choice. They didn't. I had one colleague and I begged

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and pleaded, quit. Quit looking like you're going to Walmart on

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a Saturday in jeans and a T shirt with holes in it. Please.

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Quit wearing that. We didn't have a dress code, but she

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wasn't going to switch, right, like that's what she wanted to

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wear, and it was a long time before she got promoted. You've

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gotta work really, really, 10 times harder to overcome the

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impression you make when you walk in a room, when you walk

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into a business meeting. So dress, act as if you already

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have it, if you as if you already belong, if you walk in

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that country club stumbling around like, Oh my God, I don't

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know what to do. I don't know how to be here,

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then you're not ever going to feel comfortable there. So I

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urge you, what kind of vacation Do you want to go on? If it

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isn't a nice hotel, go hang out in a nice hotel in your town

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again, even if it's just in the lobby or possibly in the bar.

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Like, get used to that area. You want to go to a really cool

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restaurant that's really ridiculously expensive and

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you're not sure, like, how that's going to go. Go have an

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appetizer. Just tell the waiter, I just want to have an

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appetizer, and then go check out the menu before you go do a

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little research, find out what you like. You might decide

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that's not for you. That means nothing. You don't want to do

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it. That's not where you want to put your time or your resources,

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and it may not be for you and you might not want to do it. I

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had a friend recently say, Oh, I would have never gone to Spain

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for a month without my husband, because I can't imagine

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traveling without him. And I said, Well, I never imagined

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traveling without mine. But when I asked him if he wanted to

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travel, he said no. And I said, I hope you don't mind that I'm

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going to. And he said, That's great. You go. I don't want to.

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So that's not his dream life. Do we vacation together? Yes,

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several times a year we vacation together. Do I vacation a little

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bit more than he does sometimes, but I turn every business trip

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into a vacation, whether I'm only there for the conference or

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not. I make it all fun because that's the life I want to live.

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So act as if you already have the life that you want. Act as

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if you already live in the neighborhood where you want to

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live. Act as if you already have the car that you want. Start

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focusing on what you want in the future and how you want to feel

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when you get there. How do you want to feel if you're

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uncomfortable and the clothes are itchy and you don't like

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that snooty person that holds a door for you, that may not be

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for you, and that is perfectly fine, pick the life that you

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want to live and live into it. Live into what you want your

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life to be again when your feet hit the floor, do you want it to

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be a dirt floor because you're sleeping under the stars or

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grass? That's your choice. What? What's your dream? Your dream is

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for you. My dream is for me. Have the experiences, test out

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the waters, find out what it's like to sit in that new car, or

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you might like vintage cars. Sit in that vintage car, whatever it

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is you have the opportunity to live the life of your dreams.

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You're destined for more success than you've ever envisioned. And

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start now. Start with something small. Start with a restaurant.

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Start with a hotel lobby. Start with checking out cars at the

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car dealership. Start acting as if you already lived the life.

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Of your dreams. I'm Jennifer Takagi, and I look forward to

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connecting with you soon. You.